Note: This article is my opinion after purchasing and going through the program. To write it I have read and listened to the program, as well as used my knowledge of other programs.
Note: This article contains sponsored links at no cost to you
WHY DO MEN STAY with women?
The general belief around men and relationships is that they don’t want commitment. All they really want is sex, and regular sex is how women can keep men in a relationship.
But is this really true?
Well the good news is that this question (and many others) is covered in detail in the ‘Why Men Pull Away’ program by Slade Shaw.
What is the Why Men Pull Away Program… in One Sentence?
The Why Men Pull Away program is a comprehensive guide to what is happening inside a man’s brain when it comes to commitment as well as the tools you need to communicate with him on a deeper level, to get the best out of him, make him happy, as well as move your relationship forward.
What’s the Why Men Pull Away (WMPA) program about… in a bit more detail?
Why Men Pull Away is mostly about commitment, and understanding what a man needs to commit. Along with what he doesn’t want, and some of the trials and tribulations that happen along the way in a typical relationship scenario.
It’s important to remember that men have been this way (pulling away from women in relationships) for tens of thousands of years. This is important for two reasons. One it’s natural. Two, trying to change men in one short lifetime isn’t going to work. So you need to work with it.
That element (the tens of thousands of years of male evolution) is what the book is based on. ‘The paleolithic principle’.
The dream girl factor is about putting yourself in his shoes and asking, ‘what does he want from me?’. This isn’t groundbreaking, but with the help of the author, you can start empathizing and understanding where he is coming from and why. And how, in your particular situation, to meet his needs.
The program covers in some detail, the stages of commitment and a relationship, as well as how to keep the relationship moving forward. There is also a section on the stages of him pulling away and coming back.
There is also an entire section on why he might pull away for the wrong reasons, and what you can do about it.
What can you expect, after going through the program
After going through this program, you can reasonably expect to be able to diagnose where your current (or past) relationships went wrong and how you can go about creating better relationships in the future.
You can also expect to be able to make better decisions regarding him in-the-moment, and understand the language he needs to hear from you.
If you have ever felt like your relationship was ‘stuck’, like many women do, then WMPA will tell you what’s happening in his brain that is stopping progress. You will also learn what you need to do to keep the relationship moving forward.
Who is this program for?
It’s for women who want or have a relationship with a man, and you are not sure how to handle when he starts to pull away.
There are bits and pieces for every stage of your relationship journey, single, dating to married with kids. But it’s mostly for dating and relationships.
Although the program is pictured on the website as books and CD's, it is only available as a digital download. To get a physical version, you would have to print and bind the text sections yourself.
What’s in the program?
- Why men pull away – ebook and audio recording
- Communication Secrets for a Long, Strong Relationship – audio recording and transcription .pdf
- How to Reignite & Maintain Long-Term Attraction – audio recording and transcription .pdf
- Interview with Scot McKay – Audio interview
- Interview with James Bauer – Audio interview
My ‘Why Men Pull Away' Review | Part-by-Part
Introduction – Why You’re Here
This section is mostly build up of what you will learn in the rest of the program. It also talks about how you should read and listen to the program. No real content.
The Paleolithic Principle And The Dream Girl Factor
Without giving away the detail this section covers what the title says. It isn’t all information in though, there is also ‘the question system’ that is directed towards getting him to open up to you while avoiding putting him in a mood. The section rounds out with an explanation of what is covered.
What you’ll learn:
- What the most attractive quality men find in women is (it’s not what you think)
- What men really want from a relationship… It’s not what you think
- The question formula you should use to get him to get him to open up to you when he is pulling away
- How to make sure your timing with men is right, every time.
Part One – Making Your Man User-Friendly: Understanding The Male Mind Before You Do Anything Else
This section is the largest section of the program and is mostly about commitment. What it is for you and how he sees commitment. Including what makes a man propose to a woman… the fundamental reason.
Part one lays some of the groundwork down for what you need to do. It starts with a wide and broad section on what not to do with men.
Then it moves onto understanding how to know what you actually want and finding out the simple things that he wants out of his relationships.
This includes stuff like, how to let him know you're interested. How to get him to open up to you and tell you things that he hasn’t told anyone. And how to get him to want him to commit to you.
Why YOU being happy is the most important thing in your marriage/relationship or finding a relationship
What you’ll learn:
- What does commitment mean to him and when it happens in his mind?
- What to do If Your Man is pulling away right now and you need help?
- Find Out What He Really Thinks: How To Talk To Him About Commitment, Closeness, And Your Future Together
- How to know if Your Hopes For The Relationship Unreasonable or You’re On The Right Track
- Navigating the 5 stages of commitment: how to get from “hello” to “we’re soulmates” in 5 easy steps
- How to motivate a man to be an active participant in a relationship, rather than couch sitting, tv watching zombie
- The questions to ask that will prompt him to share and open up emotionally in your relationship (this is a must-read if you want a long-term relationship!)
- 3 questions you can ask to get him to prove himself to you and why they work so well…
- The 3 essential and universal needs of men and what happens when you don’t meet them
Part Two – How To Get Him To Focus On You By Giving Him What He Doesn’t Even Realize He Needs
Part two is about what makes a man fall in love. Most of it covers what most women miss and actually do to sabotage themselves.
This is good news because it means that if you have experienced or are experiencing the man in your life pull away, there is something you can do about it. It is not a lottery.
The first section talks about letting him know that it’s ok for him to fall in love with you. As a man, I can tell you that women can make it hard. As it says in the program, women have a much bigger center in their brains for communication than men do. So men can feel like ‘it’s not ok to talk to her about these things’ she will get angry, upset or try to talk me out of doing it.’ It sounds small but it is massive.
Does the man in your life feel like it’s ok to love you? Or does he feel as though it is mandatory? Or maybe he feels it isn’t ok to say or do it. If it’s the second or the third, then you probably feel like your relationship is you pulling him along with you. It shouldn’t feel like that and this is the reason why. The program goes into more details here. I think you’d want to read/listen to this section a few times if this resonates with you.
This section also talks about when a man pulls away… (which is normal). Instead of fighting it, getting emotional and doing things that you don’t usually do, or simply keep prompting him for an answer, the program shows you how to deal with it and come out the other side stronger.
- What makes a man fall in love?
- What to do if he knows you love him and he is still pulling away?
- 5 ways to talk to him about your relationship to keep things moving forward
- One strategy for when he pulls away that will have him springing back to you more committed than before
- When to have the different ‘commitment conversations’
Part Three – Things That Drive Men Away
Part three will be the meat of the entire program for most women. It covers what drives him away from your relationship, you and commitment in general.
It might also be a little confrontational. Slade pretty straight up with the advice here.
The good news is that the reasons behind everything are explained. I guess it’s no great surprise that nagging is mentioned here as a thing that drives men away. Men detest it. Well the reason why it doesn’t work for him is in this section. Why men’s brains don’t actually understand nagging and being nagged at, how they actually tune it out (and you thought his hearing needed to be checked) and how to make a slight change to your language to get what you want and ‘train him to listen’
Not all the information in this part here is groundbreaking, but it is solid.
Slade also talks about being a dreamgirl. I think this is a good idea, simply because it puts you in the right state of mind to deal with him. Thinking ‘what does he want?’ first. If you do this, and he puts you first, you can’t go wrong.
There’s also a section on ‘why men cheat’. It’s relatively simple compared to some other authors on a similar topic before. But it’s not all bad. Keeping it simple makes it easy to follow, and understand. Although some of the points you will most likely already know.
- The reasons men are secretly afraid of committing to you (and start pulling away)
- The one thing that pushes men away, more than anything else
- Why he becomes so grumpy all of a sudden, and how to get him out of his cave when he does
- How to get your point across that doesn’t push him away
- Why men cheat and how to ‘other-woman-proof’ your relationship
- How to deal with work addicts
- What men are secretly afraid of (that makes them pull away from their relationship)
Part Four – How To Bring Him Closer
Part four is about keeping the relationship strong into the future. It’s more general in nature with some guidelines to follow. As per the other parts, there are examples, and everything is well explained. There aren’t any magic bullets here (which there aren’t anyway), so it’s a simple, guide to follow to keep your relationship strong into the future.
There isn’t a big bang type conclusion either. Just a few words summarising the program.
- What Makes A Man Start Thinking About Forever?
- How to get him to start thinking about the future
- What to do when he acts distant and you’ve tried everything you can think of…
BONUS – How to Reignite & Maintain Long-Term Attraction Bonus Interview – With Amy Waterman and Marie Forleo
This 42-minute audio interview and 20-page transcription (in .pdf) on the topic of reigniting and maintaining long-term attraction.
The information comes thick and fast and some of the topics covered are, why having fun is so important in a relationship and how to do it, how to keep the physical attraction alive, and tips to maintaining long-term attraction.
As you can tell by the title, this interview is primarily for women in a long-term relationship.
BONUS – Communication Secrets for a Long, Strong Relationship – With Amy Waterman and Renee Piane
This is a one-hour audio interview (with accompanying 26 page .pdf transcription) around the topic of communication in a relationship. Renee is best known as the author of ‘love mechanics’ which is a system designed for men to help get them relationship ready.
The interview covers topics like, dealing with emotions, criticism in your relationship, how to accept the person that you are with and what to do when the relationship breaks down. This interview is aimed more for people in a committed relationship. It is also a little dated as the transcription is dated 2008.
BONUS – Interview with James Bauer
This 36-minute interview (.mp3 format) with dating and relationships coach James Bauer gets into some of the finer points of male relationship psychology. In particular, why men pull away, what makes men cheat, why men lose interest, why men lie, and what makes them fall out of love.
James is an expert in this area and this interview contains some great information about what’s happening in his brain during the relationship.
BONUS – Interview with Scot McKay
This 46-minute interview (.mp3 format) with Scot McKay, an expert in the dating and relationships space. Scot deals directly with his clients so his advice is real and to the point.
Scot answers questions put to him by surveyed women, in detail, and with a comprehensive understanding. At the very least, this audio will give you a different perspective on some situations you may be experiencing now, or experienced in the past.
PROS & CONS
The program gives plenty of direction, including exactly what you should do at times in the way of text messages, and what to say and do.
I think the greatest strength of this program is that it doesn’t simply tell you why you should be doing something, it gives you the reasons why so you can understand why yourself.
And then you can start making the right decisions, and truly understand what he wants.
Many questions answered
Probably the greatest part of the program, I felt, was that it answered so many questions. How do you do this, why does that happen, what should you do when he does this etc.
There is something here for every situation you may find yourself in when your man pulls away (and also general relationship stuff)
Not really any exercises
The reason why I write this as a con is that they can help you get some momentum. There’s one by my count.
Main points could be a little clearer
As I was going through the program, I felt like the information was coming thick and fast and not necessarily sticking. The main points weren’t as clear as they could have been. I needed to listen to the program and refer to the .pdf a few times for me to understand what is what.
Some of the bonuses I felt weren’t as strong as they could be. Some of the advice was very general, broad and cliche. There wasn’t much new information in my opinion as there perhaps could have been. The interview with James Bauer was good (although it felt a little like an advertorial), but the others I felt like a lot of it was simply an opinion on someone else's situation and could have been more helpful.
In Summary (My Opinion)
There is some solid information in this program. It’s put together in a language that is easy to understand and it’s mostly simple to follow.
There is plenty of theory, explanation and enough examples to help anyone with their relationship. You don’t need to have any background knowledge (in relationships, psychology, etc.) to get the maximum benefit out of this program.
Some of the parts covered are common sense, and some of them you may have learned at high school. Although you may have heard them before, they may help reassure you if you’ve heard different opinions on the same topic.
I don’t think there is any doubt that this program can really help, simply by going through it a couple of times. The reason why is there is a lot of things women do that sabotage their own efforts. This program highlights them, and lets you see what you can change.
Usually, it’s just the wording of how you talk to him or the actions that you take in a particular situation. No life changing, no need to rethink everything, just a few small things.
You can get your copy of Why Men Pull Away here.
If you have a question you'd like to ask me about the WMPA program, you can ask me here.
Thanks for reading my why men pull away review