Sex Tips for Women – A Shortened Guide for Even Happier Endings

Sex Tips for Women - Woman and man passionately kissing
Sex Tips for Women - Woman and man passionately kissing

There is nothing that is comparable to sex: the feeling is heavenly, and the tremor-inducing release of serotonin and other endorphins boosts your immune system and decreases anxiety and stress.

However, it has the potential to be both the most amazing or the most unfulfilling aspect of your life. It can be a source of ultimate pleasure or a frustrating, empty experience…

Research shows that not many women realize the full potential of sex:

A survey by Durex Sexual Wellbeing revealed that one in three women are turned off from sex. The study showed that these women feel that the kind of sex on offer is not really what excites them. According to Dr. Andres Pennington, even though all women are capable of having an orgasm: almost one in twenty women have never had one.

If you are not getting enough sex or the enjoyment that you know you deserve from sex, remember that sex is more than sexual chemistry. It is not easy to get sex right every time, but with a few tips and tricks, you can take your sexual experience to the next level.

So, how is your sex life? Are you doing it often? Are you doing it correctly? What else is there to try?

Here are some tips to ensure that your bedroom experience will be as pleasurable as possible for you and your man:

The Shortened Guide to Better Sex and other Sex Tips for Women

Anybody who believes that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach flunked his geography  

Robert Byrne

For men, sex is mostly a physical attraction, while for women it is an emotional connection. A woman must, therefore, go an extra mile and work on the man’s physical parts for a satisfactory sexual experience.

To optimize your sexual experience, appreciate your man’s prowess in bed and praise him. This will boost his ego and spike his desire for you by manifold.

The pressure of satisfying you may turn off your man’s desire. Do you want to eliminate this fear? Guide him to your erogenous spots and do so with caution without puncturing his self-esteem.

Never use sex as a bargaining tool. You are the only source of your man’s physical pleasure.

Sex: The thing that takes up the least of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

John Barrymore

A woman’s orgasm can last as long as twenty seconds whereas a man’s will be over the entire experience in just three minutes. Furthermore, a woman is capable of having multiple climaxes in a single romp.

How to prolong your orgasm

If your climaxes are too short, delay gratification by edging. Edging involves pulling back at the last moment when you near the orgasm. Repeating this process two or three times will build a longer more powerful orgasm.

Even though one in twenty women have never had an organism, every woman is capable of having an orgasm. Many women just have discovered how.

For women, the best aphrodisiacs are words. The G-spot is in their ears. He who looks for it below there is wasting his time.

Isabel Allende

Your sexual malfunction is not in your mechanical part. Sex therapists assert that eighty percent of your orgasm is tied up with psychological issues that you may be experiencing:

  • Your cultural and religious programming
  • Your past sexual experiences
  • How comfortable you are with your body
  • How safe you feel with the guy that you are having sex with
  • Where you are having sex

Although your libido may decrease as you get older, the quality of your orgasms only gets better

To enhance your sexual performance and intensify your orgasm, increase the ‘love drug’ oxytocin in your system. All you need is more hugging, kissing, cuddling and other bonding activities.

Among men, sex results in intimacy: among women intimacy results in sex.

Barbara Cartland

Quick tips to get more out of sex

Did you know? Your clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings, which is twice the number in a penis

According to Hilda Hutcherson, author of ‘Pleasure,’ a quick hot bath or placing a warm washcloth over your vulva for a few minutes before sex leads to increased pleasure. Heat will boost blood flow to your vagina, leading to increased lubrication and heightened sensitivity.

Take advantage of the first two days of your cycle when your testosterone levels surge, your breasts and clitoris become extra sensitive, and your libido soars. Your orgasms will be intense, and multiples are much more likely.

Stop defining yourself as an orgasm:

  • You are much more than orgasm. The enjoyment you experience during sex should not be desecrated by the failure to be orgasmic.
  • Stop exaggerating how bad it is not to have an orgasm

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as far as empty experiences go, it’s one of the best.


Psychology Today

Did you know? Men have a spot which when stimulated causes untold pleasure? The organ is known as the prostate, and it is located right under a man’s bladder. You can reach it by placing a finger inside the guy’s anus and moving it in a circular motion.

Research shows that if you are having trouble reaching orgasm when having sex, wearing a pair of socks makes it easier for you to orgasm by warming your feet.

You should never compare your sexual sex experiences to another person’s. Comparison is the thief of joy. No two women experience sex the same way.

Great lovers are made, not born. Sex is not effortless. Educate yourself about your body and your man’s body

Do not compare your man with your current partners. As much as your past experiences can be a good foundation of your sexual skills, realize that different things work for different men.

Sex relieves tension – love causes it.

Woody Allen

Did you know? Sex increases your memory. During sex, blood flows to the hippocampal region of the brain, which improves your ability to remember words and phrases

‘Society' and it's impact on our sex lives

It may seem like there is no connection, but images in the media and our general perception of what society thinks is OK and normal impacts our sex lives.

Even though you may feel as though your body doesn’t look great at the moment, do not allow this consciousness to spoil your sexual experience. When you are making love, your man is not worried about any imperfections that you may have. Besides, his body is probably not perfect either.

Forget about ‘normal’ sex and do not feel ashamed about your quirk’s and fantasies. In a study:

  • 11% of the women had tried bondage
  • 20% of the respondents had used a blindfold
  • 30% of the women had had anal sex
  • 62% of the women admitted to masturbating three to four times a week
  • 18% indicated that they preferred oral sex

Sex is perfectly natural. It’s something that’s pleasurable. It’s enjoyable, and it enhances a relationship. So, why don’t we learn as much as we can about it and become comfortable with ourselves as sexual human beings, because we are all sexual?

Sue Johansson

Sex should feel amazing. If it’s painful at all, you should find out why. It could be a small matter of adding a lubricant or changing positions.

Be squeaky clean. Keeping everything fresh will optimize your sexual experience.

Also be prepared for things that may happen during sex like wanting to go to the bathroom or the phone ringing

It is not all up to your man. Share the responsibility and take on a portion of your own sexual pleasure.

They only unnatural sex act is that which you cannot perform.

Alfred Kinsey

In Summary…

Between work projects, children, and other pressures, amazing sex may seem like a fantasy.  I hope these tips will help you turn up the heat again. These insights encourage you to challenge your existing thoughts about sex, and reflect on what you are doing right or wrong.  

And remember, no one has it all together when it comes to sex.  Sex can be confusing and surprising even for the most experienced among us.  There is no one size fit all.

Different partners bring with them sets of demands, expectations, and experiences.  

Luckily, with excellent communication and all the self-help materials available out there, you should be able to have a fantastic sexual experience.

EXPERT ADVICE: Should you have Sex on the First Date?

Should you have Sex on the First Date - Silhouette of couple on the beach

HE IS HOT, AND the sexual energy cannot be denied. Everything is going well. The dinner is fantastic, and you haven’t had such a lovely conversation for a long time. He smiles, leans forward, and in the sexiest voice whispers:

Your place or mine?

You panic and freeze. Should you have sex with him?

Will he still respect you if you agree to have sex with him on the first date, or will he relegate you to booty call zone? What if you turn him down? Will he think that you are stuck up and uninteresting?

The Dilemma

There is a lot to think about when deciding whether to have sex on the first date or not.

For instance, if the sex isn’t awesome right off the bat, it could be a deal breaker. Unfortunately, you can’t always be sure that first date sex will be phenomenal because a lot of pressure accompanies it. Also, some women may fear to scare off guys by appearing to be too sexually aggressive.

On the other hand, there is always the chance that if a woman doesn’t ooze sexuality, the man will not ask for a second date.

We may not give you a definitive answer in this article as to whether you should be intimate on the first date or not since every situation is unique. However, we will give you sound arguments for both opinions so that you can make an informed decision.

The Debate:

CAMP NO: Why you should not have sex on your first date

As much as the traditional rules of dating and sex have changed, there are still many reasons why having sex on the first date is probably not a wise idea.

You will be sleeping with a perfect stranger

Firstly, you have obviously spent very little time with this guy, and you, therefore, do not know much about him. There are inherent risks that come with sleeping with a man that you just met.  Also, in all likelihood, you have not discussed protection and STIs. So, how will you ensure that you are safe?

Again, you probably haven’t had any meaningful conversation regarding sex and boundaries. Do you know whether you can trust the man to treat you respectfully? Are you comfortable enough with him to be assertive and communicate your pleasure and displeasure during sex?

Guys believe that there is something special about women who make them wait

An interview with guys indicated that men are still pleasantly surprised by a woman who makes them wait. It is the nature of a man: the harder a girl is willing to make him work for it, the more he is attracted to her.

Indeed, some guys indicated that when a woman made the man wait to have sex, it made them realize that they wanted to wait for it too despite their original plans. Other guys indicated that it is refreshing to meet a woman who didn’t want to give it up all at once, leaving them with something to look forward to.

The anxiety of the first date sex

Sex therapists say that first date sex comes with untold anxiety. If you are not interested in a relationship with the guy, you will be wondering how to extricate yourself in case he wants to see you again.

On the other hand, if you are hoping for a relationship, you will be worrying that you have given the wrong impression. Maybe the guy will think that you are easy and that you do it with other guys all the time. Sometimes, even though the chemistry is there, it makes much more sense to wait. After all, the chemistry will be there on the second, and the third, and the fourth date.

Sex clouds your judgment

Celebrity match maker, Alessandra Conti, says that sex on the first date is even more disadvantageous for women. When you have sex, your body is flooded by oxytocin which makes you want to bond with and trust the man. This makes your judgment significantly impaired.

As a result, you are more likely to let things slide and overlook the deal breakers if the relationship progresses. Sex therapists warn that sexual chemistry is not always the best guide when one is searching for a long term commitment.

Also, because of the hormones that you release during sex, potential ghosting becomes much more painful. Being ghosted by a guy is painful even when you have not slept with him. However, the difference is that you are now chemically and emotionally bonded to him, and it will make it twice as hard to get over him.

CAMP YES: Why sex on the first date is not a deal breaker

The stigma surrounding sex on the first date has changed significantly. Consider the following statistics:

A survey conducted by OkCupid revealed that 46% of users would comfortably have sex on the first date.

A 2013 research by Cosmopolitan revealed that 67 percent of the men said that they would totally have sex on the first date and that they would not think any less about a woman who has sex on the first date.

Yet, another study by Singles in America revealed that men are three times more likely to use a one night stand to form a relationship. The same survey revealed that 25 percent of the respondents had turned a one night stand into a relationship. Indeed, many of the respondents indicated that sleeping together on the first date helps them to determine whether there is a connection between them and the woman.

Sex on the first date helps you know whether you have chemistry

Many times, it takes time to figure out whether you have a connection with a guy. But once in a while, you meet one, and you just know.

Some relationship experts believe that lusting after someone that you don’t know well can still be an excellent start to a long-lasting relationship. As such, it seems that first date sex has its place in the formation of romantic relationships. It eliminates the weirdness  

Once you sleep with a guy, you surpass the weird first date zone. At least you will have bonded to the level that you are comfortable seeing each other naked. From that point going forward, communication and subsequent hang out sessions can only be easier.

If you feel that the connection was real, there will be no beating around the bush about wanting to see him again. If on the other hand, none of you was looking for anything serious, you might have found good friends in each other. It is a win – win.

What to do if you want to have sex on the first date

If you have great chemistry with a guy, you should not have to deny yourself. However, to avoid the guilt, shame and regret that potentially accompanies the first date sex, you need to make your choice for the right reasons for you.

Have sex for the right reasons

Why do you want to have sex? Is it to explore your sexuality? Do you hope to assess your compatibility with the guy? Do you want to give/receive pleasure?

When you know the reason why you want to do it, you will be more realistic about the outcome. Having sex because you are under pressure to please the man or because you hope to convince him to get serious about you is wrong.

You should only have sex because you want to. And always remember that there is no guarantee that the sex will lead to anything more.

Think about where it will happen and whether you feel safe enough doing it

Safety first! Where will you be having sex? At your place? At his? In a hotel? Do you plan to use protection? Are you on birth control?  

Wherever it is, you must ensure that you feel physically and emotionally comfortable in the space.

Talking of safety, do you feel safe with this guy?

  • Do you trust him not to harm you during and after sex?
  • If you changed your mind about having sex after arriving at your destination, would he respect your decision?
  • Who else knows where you are going or where you will be if something were to go wrong?

Take stock of what you know about the guy’s sexual history

What do you know about the guy’s health? Do you know whether he has any STIs? Is he having sex with other women?

No matter how much of a connection you have with a man, it is just irresponsible to not know his status before engaging in sex.

Be prepared for a potential one night stand

You should not take sharing your body with a man lightly. As such, you must be comfortable with the possibility that the sex will be just that -sex. You should not have any unrealistic expectations to avoid getting hurt.

So, to have or not to have?

Whether to sleep with a guy within a few hours of meeting him, the choice is yours. However, one thing remains true: the purpose of having sex is paramount in the making of this decision.

If you want a long term relationship, do not give it up too quickly. The delay will help you to grow the connection, and the sex will further strengthen your bond.

Also, bear in mind that many men have eliminated a girl from a potential relationship because she was ‘loose.’ But, it would be hard to find a man who ever dismissed a woman as a potential long-term partner because she didn’t have sex on the first date.

How to Tell a Guy You Want to Have Sex

How to Tell a Guy You Want to Have Sex

The time has come. You feel that you are ready to have sex with the guy you have recently started seeing…

It means that you have developed trust with him and you feel comfortable around him. The only problem is: he does not give you any indication that he feels the same way.

Doesn’t he want to have sex with you?

If a guy is dating you, of course, he is interested in having sex with you. However, there are several reasons why he might not demonstrate his interest in having sex with you just yet.

For one, he probably thinks that you are not ready and he doesn’t want to pressure you. And this a good thing, because it shows that he is a caring, considerate person.

Also, we have been made to think that men are always ready for sex, but this is not necessarily the case. Not every man is willing to have sex with you after a few dates.

But, if you feel ready to have sex, it is in your best interest to let the guy know. Even if he is not prepared, at least you will get to know the reason why and decide on the steps to take next.

How to tell a man that you want sex with him

Your relationship could stay on the friendship status forever if one of you doesn’t make a move to take it to the next level. If you feel strongly that this is the time, put the awkwardness aside and let him know how you feel. He is not a mind reader.

First things first, how do you know that you are ready to have sex with your guy?

There are many factors to consider when deliberating having sex for the first time. You do not want to get hurt, hurt him or complicate the budding relationship.

So, as much as you want to have sex, it is understandable that you might be worried about making a mess of things.

Also, do you trust yourself to make the decision?

Granted, you have made mistakes in the past and have been hurt. You deeply regret some of the dating and sexual decisions that you have made previously. You probably don’t trust yourself to make the ‘right’ decisions.

But, experts indicate that after all the experiences you have had, good and bad, you should trust yourself more than ever. After all, by now you know what works for you and what doesn’t.

You understand what you need for you to have sex and remain with fond memories after the experience. You have also learned what situations leave you with feelings of guilt, regret, and shame. Indeed, you are the best person to decide whether to have sex with a new man or not.

Be sure you are prepared to have sex

Sometimes, you may think you want to have sex, but you are just nervous about having sex with the guy for the first time (which is entirely understandable). You probably just want to get over with it, so that you can stop worrying about it.

But, Before you do or say anything:

Consider your past experiences

Think about all the times you have had sex and later felt good about it. Also, consider the times when having sex left you with feelings of guilt and regret.

  • What were the circumstances surrounding the sexual activity?
  • Was it casual sex, or were you in a committed relationship?
  • Had the guy met your friends and family?
  • Where did you have the sex?

Asking yourself these questions will help you identify the factors that support you in having a sexual experience that you can reflect on fondly.

Ask yourself how you want to feel after you have sex

How do you want to feel after having sex? How do you want to feel after having sex with this man? A clear answer to this question will help you take the necessary steps to ensure you will achieve this feeling.

  • Do you want to feel safe and loved after sex? Then you must allow the relationship to grow to a point where you feel safe and loved
  • Do you want to walk away with a feeling of freedom from commitment? Then you must ensure that you don’t wait until things are getting serious before you initiate sex
  • Do you want to banish fears of diseases and pregnancy? Then ensure that you use protection

Giving first-time sex careful thought ensures that you are not caught in the moment only to realize that it’s not what you really wanted.

Remember, sex changes a relationship in many ways. And you cannot undo sex. So, be sure it is what you want. If after a deep reflection the answer is yes, then you have nothing to worry about; but if the answer is ‘maybe’ give yourself some more time after all you have nothing to lose.

Figure out where he is at

We have already pointed out that not every man wants to have sex all the time. Your man could be having the same degree of shyness and caution as you.

Therefore, you need to figure out what his thoughts on having sex are. Conversations about sex are not easy to have especially in a new relationship. So, how do you establish his readiness to have sex?

Talk to him about sex in general

In the next conversation you have with your man, bring up the topic of sex: friends having sex, celebrities having sex…. And pay attention to his thoughts and opinions.

Imagine for instance that he tells you that he thinks people should only have sex after they are married? What does this imply? That the two of you are not on the same page. You then must decide whether you want to wait for him or you want to move on.

Consider how he interacts with you

Does he seem comfortable touching you? Has he demonstrated any interest in getting physically intimate? If yes, then, great. If not, then the conversation of sex will be a little bit difficult, so you better be prepared.

Just ask for it

This conversation will predictably not be an easy one, but relationship therapists indicate that just asking for what you want from your partner is very influential.

Unfortunately, the experts also say that asking is where many partners fall short. They say that most of the times, partners have the mentality that the odds are stacked against them. They hesitate to ask for what they need in a relationship because they predict that rejection is almost guaranteed even before they make the request.

According to research, however, you should not fear to ask:

In a study, assistants were asked to approach people and make random requests, one of which was: would you go to bed with me tonight or during the week/weekend?

59% of men agreed to have sex.

What does this research demonstrate?

The findings show that an average individual, using a pretty boring approach, has about 50 / 50 chance of getting a positive response to the request to have sex with a complete stranger. How much more successful will you be considering that this is a man you are dating and is most probably attracted to you?

Suddenly, the odds are a lot better than you imagined. Right? The message here is simple…. Ask, ask, and ask. If you want to have sex with your man, then ask for it. You have a pretty good chance of getting it.

Timing is everything

The evening before he has an important presentation at work, or the day when he is expecting a visit from his parents is not a good occasion to talk. Pick a day when you are both relaxed and feeling peaceful about life: like during a Sunday brunch with a bottle of wine.

You could also choose to have the conversation during a special occasion when he is in high spirits, like his birthday. This could work wonders because it will make the day more special and memorable, especially if he is ready to start having sex as well.

Ensure to make the revelation in private

This conversation is not to be had in front of people, no matter how close they are. Sex is intimate and personal.

Also, this is not only about you telling him you want sex; it is allowing him space and privacy to absorb and respond appropriately. You do not know his answer, so it is better to request during a private moment to avoid any awkwardness.

In Summary…

Remember, no matter how much time you buy; this will probably not feel smooth. Be encouraged by the fact that you guys are dating and the man does care about you. As such, a slightly uncomfortable conversation is hardly a deal breaker.

After all, you have the responsibility to ensure that your needs in a relationship are met. Only you know what they are and only you can ensure that they are not dismissed. And you know what, someday you will be able to laugh about the awkwardness. Promise!

Things that Happen during Sex and how to Deal with Them

How to Deal with Awkward Things That Happen During Sex - Man and woman in bed awkwardly
How to Deal with Awkward Things That Happen During Sex

THE IMAGE OF SEX that dominates the media is one of beauty and power, and one that is highly sanitized. In reality, however, sex is not clean or even pretty; it can be awkward and sometimes gross.

Things that happen during sex and how to deal with them

Sexual mishaps are common, and you can never predict what will happen, especially with a new partner. It is essential that you put things in their proper perspective to avoid approaching your sexual experiences with unrealistic expectations. Some of the not so pleasant things that can potentially make sex awkward include:

Queefing  

Queefing may be a bit embarrassing, but it is totally normal during sex. It occurs as a result of a pocket of air being pushed into your vagina during sex. Remember, your vagina usually doesn’t have any air but when you change positions, air can be sucked in.

When something else takes up the space; a penis or a finger, it pushes the air out, and that is the sound that you will hear. It is not a result of the digestive processes, and it is, therefore, odorless.

There is nothing you can do to prevent queefing, so your reaction is what matters a lot. When it happens, acknowledge it, and simply laugh it off. Bear in mind that your partner will react and respond to your energy. If you are humiliated or disgusted by the queefing, you will transfer your discomfort to your partner.

Did you know? The harder and more positions you engage in, the more likely you are to queef. Also, extra hard thrusting makes it easier for air to get trapped in the vagina. In other words the more you are enjoying sex, the higher the likelihood of queefing.

Farting

While many girls would rather die than pass gas during sex, the reality is that it happens – a lot. Sex is a highly athletic activity, and a lot is happening during the session that puts pressure on your midsection. Unfortunately, unlike the queefs, farts are not easily ignored. If you are the one who farted, all you can do is apologize, laugh about it carry on.

There are also times when you will notice that the man is too distracted to be concerned about the fart. In this case, ignore and concentrate on the business at hand.

If the man is the one who has farted on you, pretend you did not smell or hear it and move on. Sooner or later, the tables will be turned, and it will be your turn. Treat him the way you will want him to treat you.

Getting your period

It has happened to many couples before; one minute everything is fine. The next minute you are riding the crimson wave. Periods show up unannounced all the time. After all, you have no control over your time of the month.

Whether to continue having sex or postpone will depend on how you and the man feel about period sex. If you are into it, go for it but know that it can get a little messy. Indeed, experts indicate that period sex is phenomenal because of all the extra lubrication.

Getting a cramp

Sometimes, trying a new sexy position may not go as planned and you could end up with a cramp. Sex experts say that the calves and thighs tend to cramp more during intercourse, but any other muscle on your body can cramp.

Depending on the seriousness of the cramp, it could take anywhere from a few hours to days to feel better. If you get a cramp, turn it into an excuse for a free massage and a nice bonding session.

To prevent muscle cramps, switch sex positions frequently so that you are not in one position for too long.

Falling Dramatically out of position

Falling off the bed, hitting your head on the wall…. unless you are in perfect shape, you might find it challenging to hold certain sex positions for long.

You might get shaky or even collapse mid-sex, especially when experimenting with new positions. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. Simply ask the guy to switch positions and pick right where you left.

Orgasms come too early or not at all

Sometimes, even when you are perfectly tuned with your partner, the orgasm just isn’t going to happen. Not every woman climaxes every time.

So, what do you do when you are going on and on, and the realization that it is not going to happen finally hits you? You need to tell yourself that it is okay; that sex can be satisfying and pleasurable even when you do not orgasm.

Focus on the pleasure rather than the outcome, and you will do just fine. Some days it is just easier to orgasm than others.

Most of all,

Do not fake an orgasm. If you fake the orgasm, you are teaching your man all wrong. When your orgasms are real, your man can learn exactly what does and doesn’t work for you.

Let your man know that women don’t need to orgasm 100 percent of the time to be satisfied. Let him know that you had a great time, but you are not going to climax today.

If your man orgasms too soon, do not make him feel guilty. Let him know that it is not a big deal but that he shouldn’t leave you hanging. You can actually recommend to help him with other ways to help you orgasm.

Condom mishaps

Condoms are a significant part of sex, but they can also be a great source of awkwardness. For instance, condoms do gets stuck.

What to do?

Do not panic. Doctors recommend using a finger or two to try and fish it out. If you can’t get hold of it, do not get anxious. Anxiety will cause your vaginal muscles to tighten up and potentially push the condom further into the vagina, out of reach.

If after a few tries you still cannot get the condom out, give it a few hours and try again when you are more relaxed. The vagina will contract and make the condom easier to locate. If a day goes and the condom is still missing, make an appointment with your ob-gyn. They will quickly grab it for you. Trust me; they have done it many times before.

Peeing

Peeing during sex happens more often than many women would want to admit. Sexual peeing is related to your body’s biological responses during sex. Sexual stimulation can lead to involuntary bladder spasms which increase incontinence.

Your partner may not notice it much because he is in the heat of the moment, but you will know. The good news is that it can easily be avoided: rush to the bathroom before sex, or if you need to, excuse yourself whilst in the act. It will only take a few moments, but it will prevent an uncomfortable situation.

You are completely dry

You and your man have enjoyed intense foreplay, and you are ready to get into action. The only problem is that your vagina is completely dry. Sex therapists say there are some reasons why you could be dry, chief of which is low oestrogen. Every woman needs adequate levels of oestrogen to maintain vaginal lubrication.

If you have sex when you are that dry, sex will not only be unenjoyable, but extremely painful. What to do? Let your man know that you need the help of lube but assure him that just because you are a little dry does not mean that you are not turned on.

Lastly,

The penis just won’t fit

This might sound like it’s a good problem to have, but it is very frustrating at that particular moment. Because of anxiety and stress, your vagina muscles may tighten, and your man may be unable to penetrate.

Furthermore, the more you worry about it, the worse it can get. If this happens, get some relaxation techniques with the help of your man. Within no time, you will be calm enough to enjoy yourself.

In Summary

To enjoy sex, it is a good idea to lower your expectations and not push for things to go perfectly. Sex can at times be gross, weird and even embarrassing; and that is part of the reason why it is fantastic. It also helps to have a sense of humor.

When these awkward things happen, acknowledge them, communicate with your man about them and whenever possible, laugh about it together. It doesn’t help to be self-conscious during sex.

Your man, like most people, probably understands that sex is awkward and he will be relieved that you are just as awkward as he is in bed.

If you want to know more about what intimacy and how to be a good partner then here are some resources

The 10 Best Books on Sex, Love and Intimate Relationships

Best Books on Sex and Intimate Relationships - Woman reading book in sexy attire on bed
Best Books on Sex and Intimate Relationships - Woman reading book in sexy attire on bed

Friends have some relevant experience but they aren't experts on the topic of sex and intimacy. So who is…?

The authors of these books

They have reviewed studies (or done them themselves, researched, surveyed, and interviewed. Some have even delved into sub cultures to discover the real secrets behind why sex and intimacy plays such an important role in our lives

Here are ten of the best you can learn from, and discover what they learned, without all the hard work

A warning after reading these books, … will never be the same again. Enjoy

The Language of Desire by Felicity Keith

Capture him by using dirty works to make him yours

If as a woman you find yourself feeling undesirable and worried that the spark in your love life has gone out, you need to read The Language of Desire.

Author Felicity Keith offers ten sections covering how to achieve a better relationship with your man. Learn how to unlock the door to his secret fantasies, how to use “dirty” language to stoke the fires of his mental G-spot, and what “makes a man tick.”

This book is aimed at getting what you want, through giving him what he wants (which doesn't suit some women). A little more expensive than others in this list because of the amount of content, you can get your copy here.

The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene

Get in the drivers seat

Are you tired of being ignored? Is batting your eyelids and smiling pretty” not working for you? Would you like to have more control over men?

In The Art of Seduction, author Robert Greene reveals 24 different strategies you can use to become a “mistress of seduction”. The 400+ page, well-researched book also reveals what strategy suits your personality.

Although a little repetitive, it's a must for women who want to be in the drivers seat of their love life. This historical stories add another element for readers. Get your copy of The Art of Seduction here.

Dirty Minds by Kayt Sukel

Why does love make us so crazy?

For centuries humankind has pondered the nature of love in poems, books, songs, and art. But only recently has medical science been used to measure how our brains influence love, sex, romance, and our relationships.

In Dirty Minds, author Kayt Sukel takes a somewhat humorous look at how science is using technology such as brain scans during orgasm. Sukel looks at questions like, “Is monogamy practical?” and, “What parts of the brain are involved with love?”

A little complex for those wanting an easy read, but a fresh approach to an age-old topic? Get your copy of Dirty Minds here.

The Sexual Spectrum by Olive Skene Johnson, Ph.D.

What makes us all different

In Sexual Spectrum, author Olive Skene Johnson, Ph.D. takes a close look at what makes us all different. In particular what shapes our individual sexuality and how new is sexual diversity?

The information used is drawn from significant scientific research along with personal experience.

An excellent, non-technical read for those who are not familiar with topics such as why some people change gender are heterosexuals and homosexuals really different from each other, and many more.

A good primer for those with who have gay/lesbian children or are learning to accept their own sexuality. Get your copy here.

500 Intimate Questions for Couples by Michael Webb

Enjoy the hottest, deepest sex of your life

In 500 Intimate Questions, author Michael Webb has put together a collection the type of intimate questions you and your partner should be asking each other if you both want to enjoy mind-blowing sex.

Here's the thing – how can you possibly know if you are pleasing your partner and giving them the best sex they've ever had if you don't know what they want? The questions come from over 20 years as a couple's counselor helping thousands of couples achieve successful relationships.

More of a practical guide. this book is only available in digital PDF form. Get your copy here.

Bonk – The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex by Mary Roach

A fun look at the science behind the pleasure of sex and more

In Bonk – The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex, author Mary Roach uses her great sense of humor to teach us about orgasms, impotence, the sexual behavior of different species, and so much more.

Roach covers an incredibly broad span of information including sex in history such as the impotency trials in 17th century France. She looks at some of the more unusual sex toys and includes her personal evaluation of how well the work.

Irreverent? Maybe. Packed full of useful information in a way that is easy to digest? Absolutely!

Although a little graphic for some, you can expect an easy, informative and humorous read. Get your copy of Bonk! here

Mind-Blowing Sex Positions by Tracy Queen

From the weird to the outright wonderful

In Mind-Blowing Sex Positions, Tracy Queen covers more strange sex positions than a Porn Star Convention.

This book is all about taking that normal boring sex you have been living with and turning it up to notches hitherto unknown. It’s all about destroying the missionary rules and not dying while you do so.

Learn how to bend without breaking, how to use everything including appliances to get each other off. And of course, positions, positions, and just when you think you've tried them all, even more, positions.

Easy to understand, although no drawings or diagrams, get your copy of Mind-Blowing Sex Positions here.

Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler NPH

The definitive guide to reproductive health

For over 20 years Taking Charge of Your Fertility has been teaching women all they need to know about natural birth control as well as how to become pregnant when the time is right.

Weschler teaches women how to take control of their sexual and gynecological health in as little as two minutes per day using the Fertility Awareness Method in the book. This new 20th-anniversary edition includes six all-new chapters and tons of updated information. Get your copy here

Dirty Talk: The Language of Lust by Eric Monroe

Lessons in lust to win his …

Most women have little to no idea how to wield one of the most powerful weapons they have in their sexual inventory.

What weapons are we talking about? The lust-filled use of “dirty talk” at the appropriate time. Why? Because most women are too embarrassed to use them or have no idea where to star.

In Dirty Talk: The Language of Lust, author Eric Monroe not only teaches to you what dirty talk is all about but also how to know when you should be using it if you want to win your man's heart and vastly improve your sex life.

Expect to go from shy kitten to sultry seductress and get an education on dirty talk. Get your copy here.

Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski Ph.D.

A master-class in the science of sex

In Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life, Emily Nagoski explores the how and why of women's sexuality.

Using groundbreaking scientific research and science of the brain, she shows you how to radically transform your sex life.

While the “pink pill,” Viagra® for women may never come to pass, the research that went into developing it is priceless, and Nagoski covers this and much more to show you how to enjoy the best sex you've ever had.

Science decoded into easy to understand language. Get your copy here

Thanks for reading

Thanks for reading these picks. If you can think of a book that should be added to this list, then you can contact me here.