How to Be Single After a Long Relationship

How to be single after a long relationship - woman sitting by bed alone
How to be single after a long relationship - woman sitting by bed alone

It is normal to feel as if your world has come to an end. You and your ex did everything together. You:

  • Spent your holidays with one another’s families
  • Had your secret language and shared each other’s passwords
  • Went on holidays together
  • May have even spoke about getting married

The end of a long-term relationship can feel as if someone has pulled the ground out from beneath you. You previously didn’t have enough hours in the day to get everything done, but now, it feels like you have all the time in the world: too much time.

All of a sudden, you have no one to share with exciting news or when something goes wrong. Some things that had become routine as a result of the relationship will cease.

You will suddenly realize how much time and effort you had invested in one person. Indeed, you will wonder if it’s possible that you will ever have that kind of connection with another person ever again.

Well, we are here to assure you that it is not only possible, but there is also a whole world for you to discover now.

Sometimes when you are in a dark place, you think you have been buried, but you have been planted

Being single isn’t bad

When you have been in a relationship for a long time, you forget how to be single.

The more time you spend in a relationship, the more you might find yourself associating singlehood with insecurity, unhappiness and loneliness, even ugliness. This could not be further from the truth.

Being single the right way

Being single is different. What was fun when you were in a relationship (staying in a lot for example) won't be fun when you are single.

Instead it's about having fun, while also accepting and experiencing new things, ideas and people.

Research increasingly suggests that single people have stronger social networks than couples, and they are more likely to spend more time on leisure activities than people who have coupled up.

Another study by the University of California suggested that single people tend to experience more psychological growth and development than people who are married.

Research by the University of Auckland found that single people are just as happy as those who have coupled up.

The point is not to compare single people with people in relationships. It is to show you that there is nothing to dread.

As you can see, the notion that single-hood is associated with reduced life satisfaction is unfounded.

Here is a roadmap to help you embrace your newfound singledom

Being single leaves room for many opportunities: you will meet new people and get to work on what you really want in life.

You will gain much insight for anything that tries to tackle you in life. You will learn what you want in a relationship, how to love and how you want to be loved.

1. Let go of the baggage from your relationship

Letting go of a long relationship is complicated no matter what the reasons of the breakup were. Questions like, ‘Why’, ‘How’, ‘If’, ‘What went wrong’, and ‘Is there something wrong with me?’ will naturally plague your mind. Although you can never be faultless in a breakup, it is crucial that you stop blaming yourself.

Own your part in the breakup but come to a place where you need to stop dwelling on the past and waddling in self-hate or criticism. Bear in mind that we all make mistakes in life. Cry and move on. You should be determined to start strong on your journey to singledom free from any negative images of yourself.

When you do meet someone new you want to be free from any baggage that might be detrimental to your future relationships. Take deliberate measures to deal with issues from your past relationship that make you insecure, suspicious, reactive or afraid of intimacy.

It takes a strong person to be single in a world that is accustomed to settling for anything just to say they have something

2. Figure out who you are

Over time, we all evolve and change. The process of change is quite natural and healthy, and essential for our growth and development. However, when you are in a committed relationship, you may not see the changes as clearly as when you are single.  

Even the most introspected person sees themselves differently when they are in a relationship. When you are single again, this is an opportunity to carry out a proper assessment of yourself.

  • How much have you changed since you got into your last relationship?
  • What are your dreams?
  • How have your circumstances changed?
  • Why did you choose your values?
  • How does a partner fit into your new life as you see it?
  • What do you really want out of life?

If you take the time to carry out this assessment, you will realize that a lot might have changed in your life a lot more than you realize.

Discover why you are important and refuse to settle for anyone who doesn’t completely agree

3. Become a healthy, stable you

After being in a relationship for a long time, it is necessary that you perform a dating detox. It is crucial that you take the time to heal.

Do you feel angry, sad, disappointed, hurt – feel all the whirlwind of emotions and work through them. This step is essential because it helps you close the door on this relationship and look forward to new possibilities that lie ahead.

Take the time to focus on yourself

In the relationship, you might have been focusing all your attention on your partner that you forgot how to prioritize yourself: your desires, your needs, your goals.

There is no better time to attempt things that you’ve meant to try, engage in activities that make you happy and accomplish things that are important to you.

If you seek paradise outside yourself, you will never have paradise in your heart

4. Have fun

You have an opportunity to spend more time with friends and family, meet new people, and try new and fun activities. Aim at genuinely loving and accepting yourself and to feel whole and happy on your own. Some of the activities you can undertake to bring you to a place of fulfilment include:

  • Spend time with friends and family
  • Have fun redecorating your house
  • Try something that challenges or scares you
  • Start a new hobby
  • Sign up for some group activities
  • Treat yourself to a new hairdo or a complete makeover
  • Flirt and flirt some more!

Single is an opportunity to live life on your own terms and not apologize

The journey that is ‘being single'

The process of leaving a relationship does not end the minute you utter the words. It is a long process that will spill over into the future.

Even if you are the one who called off the relationship, there are times you will hurt, times you will feel energized to start the next phase of your life, times you will doubt yourself, and times you just won’t know what to do.

You will require all your mental strength and quite a bit of time to adjust to the loss. Do not berate yourself if you find yourself missing your Ex or reaching for the phone to call or text them. It is all part of the process.

A whole new world…

The secret to how to be single after a long relationship is to, yes, learn the lessons but, engage in activities and adventures that you enjoy, and draw up new goals for yourself. There's plenty more time to do things for yourself, such as read.

Time will then become your ally, and it will help you heal. Hang in there and in a short while, things will become easier to do alone, and you will start enjoying your new found freedom.

I Miss my Ex-boyfriend… Should I Get Back with My Ex?

I Miss my Ex-boyfriend Should I Get Back with My Ex - Man approaching woman at airport

BREAK UPS ARE emotionally draining. It's common to have many conflicting feelings.

In fact, everything can get so emotional that you may not know how to separate the logical part of your brain from the emotional part.

While some say that exes are exes for a reason, some people believe that the best person for you is the one that knows all your flaws.

So who is right in your circumstance?

There are two types of Exes: The one you hope never to see or speak to again; and the one whose number you have still saved in your phone’s contacts.

Is it a good idea to get back with your Ex?

Never say never. Sometimes, a little space is all you need to rejuvenate your relationship.

The essential thing is to go back into the relationship with your eyes wide open. For instance, you should not ignore previous problems and hope that everything will work out wonderfully the second time around.

If you are thinking of reuniting with your Ex-boyfriend, ask yourself the following questions.

1. Why did the two of you break up?

This is an important question that forces you to reflect on your previous relationship.

What was the common source of conflict? Was it because of:

  • One-off situation, like going out of state?
  • Serious but not critical like a personal crisis?
  • Critical like infidelity or abuse? You see, some of these issues are reconcilable, but others are huge deal breakers.

This question is critical because, unless you had initially broken up for a trivial reason, there was a deep-rooted cause that derailed the relationship the first time.

If you want to realize a different outcome, something must change, or history will end up repeating itself. This might actually be the only question that you need to ask to gain clarity.

2. Why do you want to get back together?

Yeah, why do you really want to get back together? Has the time apart made you realize that you are still in love your ex-boyfriend and that your relationship only lacked commitment, which you are keen to provide the second time around?

This is definitely a good reason to want your ex-boyfriend back.

But what if you only long for a romantic connection, or you want to fill the void? Or you fear that no one else will love you?

These are the wrong reasons for wanting to reconnect with your ex-boyfriend. If you reconnect with your ex-boyfriend, you must ensure that it is entirely for the right reasons.

I Miss my Ex-boyfriend Should I Get Back with My Ex - Man coming home after being away

3. What makes this second time different?

Why do you believe that the relationship will work this time around?

Have you grown since you called off the relationship? When you look at your, ex-boyfriend, does it seem like he has put effort into improving himself?  

If things are the same, then you can be sure that you will be headed for the same outcome.

4. Can you truly forgive each other?

To build a successful relationship this time around, you will have to forgive and forget certain situations.

If you still resent your ex-boyfriend and you cannot forget the past hurts, you cannot build a new future. Reflect on the past relationship and if you cannot forgive and move on it will not be wise to get back together.

When YOU SHOULD get back with your ex-boyfriend

Sometimes, you may have a legitimate reason for getting back together with your Ex-boyfriend. In fact, you should not reunite with your boyfriend unless you have a valid reason.

Let’s define legitimate

As much as each situation is unique, the following guidelines will help you to determine whether your reasons for getting back together are valid:

The breakup was a rash decision

You may have broken up for impulsive reasons. The two of you were happy most of the time you were together.

This means that the reason for breaking up did not span throughout the relationship. There is no perfect relationship, but imagine a situation where you got along well throughout the relationship, but had a huge fight and broke up. In such a case, it is worth trying the relationship again.

If your relationship ended because of a single experience, then you have a legitimate reason to want to try again.

You see potential in the relationship

You must be sure that you are not setting yourself up for failure. Do not embark on getting together just because you are obsessing over your ex-boyfriend.

Has your communication been great even during the breakup? Have you maintained respect for each other? Then, it is worth giving the relationship another attempt.

There is genuine remorse by both of you

Saying ‘sorry’ is not enough. For the relationship to succeed, the two of you must express heartfelt regret for the hurt that you previously caused each other.

The two of you must also take ownership of your actions together with their impacts even if the pain was not caused intentionally. Lastly, the two of you must be willing to make amends to repair the damage that you have created to avoid falling into old patterns.

You have a plan of action

Putting a plan of action in place is the most critical step in mending your relationship. Many couples skip this step and imagine that a single conversation is enough to fix their relationship. Without a plan in place, the likelihood is that you will set yourselves up for failure.

You especially need a plan if the relationship was plagued by severe issues: Abuse, addiction, cheating…. These are not things that the two of you can apologize for and move on. There must be a strategy in place to deal with them satisfactorily.

So, should you get back together?

If you are convinced that you should give your relationship a second chance, then go for it.

However, Start slow

Reach out to your ex-boyfriend and see if he is willing to meet you and have a conversation. Spend some time with him and determine whether you connect like you used to. You may discover that contrary to what you thought, your story together is just beginning.

Work out a mode of addressing past issues

Further,

Do not get stuck in the past. Do not spend your time revisiting every painful trauma from your previous relationship. Identify the issues that were deal breakers, commit to working on them for a time and then move forward.

“He Broke Up With Me Will He Come Back?” – What You Need to Do Now

How to Get Your Ex-boyfriend back - Woman hugging boyfriend in public

How to Get Your Ex-boyfriend back - Woman hugging boyfriend in public

HE IS ALL YOU CAN THINK ABOUT, and you just want him back.

But where do you start?

Maybe you have thought about calling and texting him, but what if he doesn't answer your calls or responds to your texts?

The good news

The good news is that you can reconcile with your boyfriend.

But first, you have to pull yourself together. After a breakup, it can feel like the faster you reach out to your boyfriend and convince him that you love him, the sooner you can get things back to how they used to be.

However, this overwhelming sense of urgency can cloud your judgment and cause you to make decisions that might jeopardize your chances of getting him back.

Position yourself for a reconciliation

Your behavior after the breakup holds the key to your chances of getting your boyfriend back.

The post-breakup phase, if not well handled, offers many opportunities for you to make mistakes, which may affect your efforts to save your relationship.

Many women go completely off the deep end and turn into stalkers; obsessively checking their ex-boyfriends’ social media, sending them hundreds of texts and showing up in their homes and office.

This kind of behavior can only at best make the road to reconciliation more challenging, if not impossible.

Displaying your vulnerability by pleading, begging, and bargaining your way back into your ex-boyfriend’s heart is also a No! No!

You would never want him to get back with you because of pity or because you have guilt tripped him into giving you a second chance.

A desperate ex-girlfriend is not attractive to anyone. So, get a handle on yourself and have a plan in place to win back your boyfriend.

He Broke Up With Me Will He Come Back - woman staring at picture of boyfriend

The no-contact rule

It is very tempting to reach out to your ex-boyfriend: but don't. Avoid all contact with him for 4 weeks. Do not no call him, do not write him any texts, do not email him, and certainly, do not like or comment on his social media.

In situations where you must maintain contact, such as being co-parents, talk to him only about essential matters. The no-contact period is crucial because it:

  • Gives you space to calm your emotions so that you can think rationally.
  • Allows you to reflect and determine whether you really want to get back with your ex-boyfriend.
  • Allows you time to work on improving yourself.
  • Gives your ex-boyfriend time to miss you.

Your ex-boyfriend probably expects you to fall apart after the breakup and start pleading with him to take you back. He has probably experienced this reaction from his previous breakups.

The no- contact will catch him by surprise and he will wonder whether he has misjudged you, and in turn question the breakup. The no-contact period will work to your maximum advantage.

What if he contacts you first?

If your ex-boyfriend reaches out to you before the 4 weeks are over, do not get too excited. It doesn’t necessarily mean anything – he might be going through a moment of weakness.

Also, do not invest too much in it. You do not need to ignore him, but it is essential that you keep some comfortable distance.

Keep the conversations light and enjoyable and always steer them away from anything too heavy and emotional. Bear in mind that if your relationship didn’t work, it was for a reason, and it won’t work unless something changes and real change takes time.

Whatever you do, do not have sex with him until you have resolved all the issues. Being intimate with your ex-boyfriend will cloud your judgment and distract you from dealing with the real issues that you should be working on.

Why did he break up with you?

You probably have no idea why your boyfriend broke up with you, and you are not alone. Many women are left clueless about why their exes leave.

The reason why your man may not be forthcoming about the reason for calling it quits is that he probably fears your reaction or he may not want to hurt you. Lame excuses like, ‘our relationship is not working anymore’ need to be decoded to determine the real reason.

Experts say that men mainly leave relationships when respect and admiration are no longer available in the relationship.

It is not that he found a girl who is prettier than you; instead, he found interest and appreciation that you once showed him from the new girl. Other reasons why guys leave include:

  • He finds you needy and controlling
  • The trust is gone
  • There is no intimacy and connection

If you hope to build a successful relationship the second time around, you must find out what was missing in your relationship in the first place.

Love yourself

The most important thing you can do while you are taking a break from your ex is improving yourself physically and mentally. To become that irresistible girl, you will need to work on improving three areas of your life:

  • Health: Eat properly, work out and ensure you look your best. Think of updating your wardrobe and probably have a makeover.
  • Wealth: Wealth involves all aspects of success. This could include applying for new jobs studying for new skills.
  • Relationships: Relationships encompass everything from family and friends. Remember the social life you had before you started dating your man; it is time to catch up with family and reconnect with your friends.

You could also take on a new hobby which is a fantastic way of keeping yourself occupied. Investing time and energy on yourself will make you more attractive to your ex-boyfriend than even before you broke up.

Engage social media constructively

Since you have no contact with your ex-boyfriend, social media can help you communicate indirectly with him.

Engage social media to show your ex-boyfriend how great you look, how much you have grown as a person and all the fun activities you have been up to. Take photos that illustrate valuable changes that will make a strong impression on your ex-boyfriend.

DO NOT:

  • Take lots of selfies at home as this will only demonstrate to your boyfriend that you have no life outside of him
  • Post sad quotes and lyrics
  • Post inspirational messages about breakups and loneliness

The texting phase

Texting is the best way to initiate contact with your ex-boyfriend. The first message should be light-hearted, fun and one that will grab his attention. ‘Hey, just heard that they have opened a great new sushi place near you and it reminded me of how much you love hand rolls.’

Sending your ex a text message is a fun and easy way to reconnect with him in a low-pressure environment. Slowly, you and your ex will start having text conversations. All you need to remember is to keep your texts fun and always to end the conversation on a high.

Once you have built enough rapport with your ex-boyfriend, you can introduce phone calls. A text like the one below can be great for introducing phone calls.

‘Can I get your help with something?'

Or

‘Hey just walked out of the most amazing interview. You wouldn't believe who was in there.’

When your ex-boyfriend calls, the same rules apply as with text messages. Keep the call fun, brief and always end it on a high note.

The Dates

The final element to getting your ex back is going out on dates with him. No matter how excited you are, you must keep a cool head. Do not prolong the date. With a smile on your face and sincere warmth in your attitude, find a reason to excuse yourself when you are still having fun.

Do not be afraid to make it clear that you have other people to see and other things to do. Keep a friendly tone through the dates and leave him wondering whether you really want him back or not. His ego will take over, and it will convince him to chase.

Final thoughts

It is possible to get your ex-boyfriend back and create a fantastic, brand new relationship. However, do not get back with him for the wrong reasons and not before you adequately address the real underlying issues. You do not want history to repeat itself.

The breakup phase does not have to be miserable; utilize it properly. Relationships have a way of sucking all the time out of your life.

A breakup should be a time for self-reflection, reinvention and becoming a better version of you- so, take full advantage of it.

Thanks for reading my guide on “He Broke Up With Me Will He Come Back?” You can find more information below, as well as on the mailing list.

9 Experts Answer FAQ on How to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

Randy Skilton Headshot 200

EVEN THOUGH YOU may feel down for the count…

It doesn't mean you're out of the fight. Not if you play your cards right

Just because he says he doesn't want to be with you right now doesn't mean he won't change his mind in the near future

So what should you do..?

To help, I've asked some Ex-Back experts the more commonly asked questions around how to get your ex-boyfriend back

There is well over 30 years experience in getting couples back together in this list, so if anyone can help it's these experts…

 

“What's The Best Way to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back Through Text?”

– Michael Fiore

Michael fiore with phone

Michael Fiore is THE expert when it comes to using text messages to reconnect with your ex…

With many years experience as well as a few published books on the subject

He likes text messages in a break-up situation because even if your Ex is screening your calls and blocking you on social media, the text will still pop up on his phone.

And in this way, he will see it before he gets the chance to delete it

When asked his number one tip for using your phone to get your Ex-Boyfriend back he said:

Michaels Tip:

“Sending the wrong type of message can instantly kill your chances of getting your Ex back”

To that, he adds…

“In fact sending the wrong message can push him into the arms of another woman”

Why is it so important that you think through what you send?

According to Michael, there are three reasons…

  1. Guys typically move on faster than women
    • This is important because he will try to fix the relationship with another relationship.. and not think about what went wrong
  2. Guys make their minds up fast, but can be persuaded to change their mind
    • This means he will try to resist any advances you make towards him
  3. When your Ex sees your name appear on his phone, he will get anxious…
    • It doesn't matter how ‘nice' your text messages are, he won't hear what you're saying because of this anxiety and even fear

So far it's been bad news, but there is good news

There are ways through text that you can bypass his defenses and get straight through to his heart

And when you create the perfect message, he will have to respond. When you trigger that inner part of him that cannot resist your message

You see most women trying to get their Ex back will put everything into one message. But Mike has broken down the process into a series of messages

All with different purposes…

Like climbing stairs, you take his hand and guide him one step at a time

If you want to know more about the steps of using text to get your Ex back, then Mike has a book called ‘Text Your Ex Back'.

It includes done-for-you text messages you can send him to open up the lines of communication and get him thinking about you again

He's also prepared a short video on his website where he divulges why a break up can actually be a good thing for your relationship.

I encourage anyone wanting to get their Ex back through text message, to take the next 5 minutes and watch

 

“How Do You Get Your Ex-Boyfriend To Want You Back?”

– James Bauer

James is a dating and relationship coach, working specifically with women for the last 11 years

He believes that trying to convince and reason with your Ex is not going to get him back

James' tip about getting your Ex to want you back is quite blunt..

James' Tip:

“Trigger his feelings”

He says emotions run the show and you will have a much better chance by tapping into them instead

“Emotion. It’s your best shot at winning him back”

So how do you use his emotions to get him back?

“1. Build a private line of communication”

James explains that in most situations, everyone knows that you have broken up. So when there are other people around, that's how he will see your relationship

But when there's no one else and it's only the two of you, those social rules don't apply. This will help him really open up to you

And at the start of the process, this is all you need to do. Simply keep in touch every so often, in a way or place where only the two of you will see or hear your conversation

James also revealed a follow-up step…

“2. Validate his frustrations with other people and things”

“We will do anything for someone who validates our frustration and takes our side when we are feeling insecure”

“So when the frustrated text arrives, recognize it as the golden opportunity it is”

James says that when your Ex-Boyfriend is looking for someone to ‘have his back', then be there for him. If he's frustrated at work or with his favorite sports team, take his side on the matter and let him know he's got a confidante

“Give him the impression that you hold him in high esteem relative to other men. He’ll love you for it even if he’s not ready to admit it…”

These two tips are the tip of the iceberg. James has a book written specifically around getting women back with their Ex-Boyfriends. To find out more, he has created a video on the real reason why men pull away and lose interest

You can also find his ‘Relationship Rewrite Method' program for getting your Ex-Boyfriend back here

 

“How Do You Get Your Ex Back… Fast?”

– Gregg Michaelsen

Gregg is a popular, Boston based dating coach with a focus on helping women understand men

His book ‘How to Get Your Ex Back Fast‘ is one of the highest rated on the topic of relationship repair

And his best tip for getting your ex back fast is simple…

Gregg's Tip:

You need to spark your Ex's competitive side…

Gregg says that all men have them, and they are the key to helping you get back together with your Ex

So it's time to stop eating ice cream on the couch and start dating other men

Why does this work? Gregg put's it like this

“Guys don't like to lose their stuff… and in a primal way he thinks of you as ‘his stuff'”

Gregg also says to complete the picture you need to let him know you are moving on. Send him messages about getting your stuff back

Or ask him where you stayed when you went on holidays a few years ago…when you were together

Gregg says that by doing this, you are telling him that you are ready to move on, and it's not just him

“It tells him that you're not just there, waiting by your phone for him to call or text and tell you how things are going to be…”

Direct vs Indirect tip:

Another tip from Gregg is that going direct (sending text messages about how much you miss him etc.) doesn't work, and this delicate situation means you need to act ‘indirectly'

Like the text messages above imply that you are moving on…

Although being direct may seem faster, it will give your Ex-Boyfriend the impression that you are needy. Neediness and clingyness are kryptonite for a man. And will make him run the other way

Greggs book entitled ‘How to Get Your Ex Back Fast‘ has plenty more tips and advice and is available digitally or in audiobook format.

 

“How Do You Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back When He Broke Up With You?”

– Brad Browning

How to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back - Brad Browning Headshot

Is there really anything you can do when your Ex-Boyfriend dumped you, but you want him back?

The truth is that there are ways to get back into his heart and remind him of what you once had…

Brad Browning, author of the Ex Factor Guide and self-confessed ‘relationship geek' says that you need to take it in stages.

His tip is:

“Firstly let him know that you are OK with the breakup, even if you're not.”

This takes the pressure off of him, which is why he might have wanted out of the relationship in the first place

Then Brad advises planting the seed of you dating other people

“By saying this, you’re sub-communicating to him that you’re actually wanted by other guys.”

This is very attractive to men and will make him feel like he has lost something. You can see Brad and his book/system for getting your Ex-Boyfriend back here, or read a more detailed review here.

“How Do You Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back When You Broke Up With Him?”

– Kate Robinson

Kate Robinson is a relationship expert who has been through it all herself…

The break up she didn't want and then getting her Ex-Boyfriend back (through trial and error)

So when she gives advice it isn't only informed by psychological studies and research, but also her own life and experiences…

Her first tip for getting your Ex back, when you broke up with him is…

“First, you need to take full control of your emotions… it will boost your attractiveness level sky-high”

Kate says he will notice when you are more centered, relaxed and confident. And he will listen to what you have to say with his heart, not his mind

So you can let him know that breaking up with him was a mistake and tell him why…

And it will make you more convincing when he feels that you're talking to him from a place of control

Kate's second tip is:

“To know how men work. You need to know exactly what his wants and needs are if you want to bypass his rational defences that are denying his love for you”

To get the low down on how to do this get a copy of Kate's program ‘Ex Back Goddess

It includes a play-by-play guide to getting your Ex-Boyfriend back

Kate has even created a video about the do's and don'ts of how to get him back when the relationship between you is rocky and even a little awkward

 

“How Do You Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back When He Has Moved On?”

– Elizabeth Daniels

Elizabeth Daniels has over 12 years experience teaching the law of attraction around the topics of relationships

During that time, she has put everything she knows into a book for people who want to attract a specific person, no matter the status of your relationship with them right now…

So she's the perfect expert for this question

Her big tip is:

“to focus on the positive…”

Elizabeth says that women going through a break up will be thinking along the lines of…

“The ‘I'm not good enough,' ‘I'm too old,' ‘or ‘I'm too ugly'… These are the negative stories keeping you from having the love life you want”

She went on to say that…

“When you start to change your thoughts, you change your vibraion and begin to attract love to you”

So how do you do it?

You need to start rewriting these negative thoughts you have circling around in your head with positive ones

And how you do that is by starting to tell yourself what you want and who you want to be

She has shared some of her thought changing statements, that you can use to replace what you're telling yourself now…

  • “I love myself totally”
  • “Romance is something I find everywhere I go”
  • “I enjoy being loved and treasured by my amazing, kind and generous partner”

You can say these statements in the shower, the car or even to yourself next time you notice you're having negative thoughts

And if you want to find out more about how Elizabeth Daniels can help you win back your ex after he has moved on, check out her book:

Manifesting Love: How to Use the Law of Attraction to Attract a Specific Person, Get Your Ex Back, and Have the Relationship of Your Dreams here

It comes recommended with many 5 star reviews

 

“How Do You Get Your Ex-Boyfriend To Sleep With You?”

– Felicity KeithFelicity Keith - How to get your boyfriend back to sleep with you

Over her time as a relationship coach, Felicity has helped over 100,000 women get their ‘so-so' love lives to Ah-Maze-Ing

Her focus on the more intimate side of relationships means that whatever is going on, she's not afraid to talk about it

And she has some great advice on the topic of getting your Ex Boyfriend to sleep with you

Her advice is…

“His declining desire level is about how he see's himself through your eyes… It's not about how you look”

So the first thing that she says to do to get your ex to sleep with you is…

“Tell him that you appreciate him…”

But not in those exact words… Instead, let him know that something he does or did is important to you

This indirectly communicates with the part of love that a man thinks is actually love. It's love on his level

And when he feels loved and appreciated. He wants to do nice things for the people who appreciate him… You get the idea

Another tip she gives is…

“When he compliments you, don't tear yourself down about it…”

If he says “I really like you in those jeans” don't tell him that you think they make your bum look big…

“When you do this, your actually putting him down and telling him he is wrong”

And this will directly impact his desire for you, and in-turn your chances with him…

Felicity has more insights into the male psyche around sex, love, and relationships in her program ‘Language of Desire' which is aimed at debunking all the myths around men and sex…

As well as taking you by the hand and showing you how to get what you want, by giving him what he wants

The good news is that it works even if your relationship with your Ex is a little rocky

There are plenty of bonuses and the audiobook included (if you click this link)

Felicity has also prepared a short and personal video (NSFW) into how she overcame intimacy problems in her relationship

 

“How Do You Get Your Ex-Boyfriend To Miss You?”

– Michael Webb

michael-webb

Michael has been around the dating and relationship industry for years. He's been featured in a few magazines, newspapers and even the Oprah show

Michael says that there are many mistakes women make when they are trying to get their Ex's back. Which push men away and makes them look elsewhere

His tips are:

“Don't share your feelings with him too early”

Men don't fall back in love with women that they think are needy or clingy. But women sometimes want to overly share when he's not ready for it yet.

“Don't try to push it too far too soon”

Men need time to adjust. Women can think that they need to settle down before a certain age, but men don't think that way.

He isn't on the same ‘schedule' as you so don't ask him to be.

“Women can be too available”

It's important that you are still somewhat of a challenge, and there is a price to being with you. Men respect that.

“Be yourself”

This one speaks for itself. And lastly…

“Women typically try appealing to his sexual side too much”

If you want a long-term relationship, you need a man who admires and respects you. Let him see that side of you, rather than the one night side

Thanks, Michael. To see more of his advice, he has released a book that is dedicated to women who want their men back. You can find it here

 

“How Do You Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back When He Has A Girlfriend?”

– Randy Skilton

Randy Skilton Headshot 200

Unfortunately, if he has moved on and happy then it can be too late

But because you have a special insight into his life, you need to leverage that to grow and nurture the relationship between the two of you

My tip is:

“Build up his confidence and let him know that he is a great guy”

If he feels confident in himself, and the new relationship isn't going well, he will be more likely to want something better and do something about it

And when you are the one building his confidence up, you become the next best

Then it's only natural that he explores you as an option…

Running this website (and other relationship websites) I have reviewed many different Ex-Back books and programs.

And if you're asking me, what I recommend as the best way to rekindle a relationship, even when a third party is involved… it's in Michael Fiore's Text the Romance Back

This easy-to-read book (with accompanying audio) will get you talking in a language that he cannot resist, and make him feel like a million bucks

The best bit is that there are done-for-you messages that you can send within 10 minutes of getting your hands on the book

And because you can send all these messages through text, you can bring him from wherever he is in the world to your door

And whatever stage your relationship is in…

In this book/program you will learn:

  • How to talk to him in a way that he will respond positively to
  • When it's a good time to escalate texts
  • What to do if he doesn't reply…
  • Why men get fed up in their relationships
  • Where many women make mistakes in talking to men and how to easily avoid those pitfalls

You can get your copy of Text the Romance Back here or see a more detailed review here

 

In Summary…

Firstly, I'd like to say a big thanks to the experts who have given their advice

There is some great advice here on how to get your Ex-Boyfriend back. So I encourage you to take it, think it through and use it

And if you need more information then get the book or program that suits you. They can make the difference

Either which way you go, I wish you the best of luck in your situation

If you have any questions or comments, you can contact me here

Resources:

  • https://www.whoholdsthecardsnow.com/blog/
  • http://michaelcfiore.com/looks-arent-blame-lack-interest/
  • https://www.meetyoursweet.com/women/blog/how-to-get-your-ex-to-chase-you-down-and-give-your-relationship-a-second-chance/
  • AskFelicityKeith.com
  • https://relationshiprewritemethod.com/convincing-vs-trigger-feelings.php
  • https://gettinghimback.com/

Six Signs He Is Falling Out Of Love With You

Six Signs He Is Falling Out Of Love With You - -man rejecting kiss

Six Signs He Is Falling Out Of Love With You - -man rejecting kiss

THINGS HAVE REALLY BEEN great between you and your man. But now, something is off.

There is a feeling …the palpable shift that you can’t quite put your finger on, and it just hangs in the air, sending waves of panic throughout your being.

Sometimes you wonder whether you are imagining things; that your fears and insecurities are probably acting up.

But wait……… Why, all of a sudden, is he so busy with everything and everyone else apart from you?

And is this ‘normal man behavior' that should be waited out like a surfer waiting out small waves… or something more serious?

Business as UN-usual

Unfortunately, many women have gone through the most challenging situation in relationships. When they thought that things were going really great until suddenly they weren’t. If something seems off, that’s an issue.

You shouldn’t be kept awake at night wondering if your man still loves you.

Men show signs when they are falling out of love with a woman, and it is important to keep a keen eye on what is happening to avoid serious heartbreak. Keep reading to find out if your guy is still invested in your relationship.

The Six Signs He Is Falling Out Of Love With You

1. He spends more time away

Any relationship is an investment of time, emotions and energy on multiple levels.

If your man is noticeably spending less time at home, watch out and find out what is going on with him. In a study, 55% of men said that they spent more time away from home when they were falling out of love with their women

Remember that feeling of not being able to get enough of each other? If you feel that the bliss is slowly yielding to a sense that your man suddenly needs a lot of ‘space’, you need to wake up and smell the coffee.

2. He avoids contact with you

The contact you have with your man during the day helps the two of you to develop a general awareness of each other. A study showed that 29% of men said that they avoided contact with their women when they felt that their emotional connection was waning.

You do all the communicating

Earlier on, it was all about you. He called you, he texted you and showed up in your office whenever time allowed. Now, he is always busy, and he has no time to talk. It is you who is reaching out most of the time. This could be a sign that he is falling out of love.

No calls; only texts(and short ones at that)

Earlier on, your man called you frequently ‘just to hear your voice’. Now he cannot be bothered to call you, and he has resulted to texts.

A man who loves you will phone you, talk to you and actually engage on the phone for some time. If he has all of a sudden resulted to brief, impersonal texts, something is definitely amiss.

He spends time with you on his phone

Whereas he hardly has any time to communicate with you when you are apart, your man will spend his time on his phone in your company. This could be a way of distracting himself from spending real time with you, which only indicates that he is losing interest in you.

Bottom line, if communicating with your man no longer feels easy and effortless, and has started to feel like a struggle, he could be falling out of love with you.

3. He picks fights

This is a common thing that men do when they are falling out of love with a girl or walking towards breaking up with her.

It is his way of trying to get out of a relationship without having to be the bad guy who hurt you. The strategy is to drive you crazy so that you break up with him. He will constantly turn every little thing into an argument, pick on you and give you a hard time about everything.

He will make offensive jokes, ignore you or even get downright contemptuous. Indeed you will notice that he may intentionally start doing the things that you hate. The idea is to push you away by constantly getting you irritated.

If you are suddenly walking on eggshells around your man, this could be the clearest indication that he is falling out of love.

4. He stops noticing you

There will be radical shifts in the attention that he once gave you; physically, emotionally, or both.

Six Signs He Is Falling Out Of Love With You. - -Man and woman having coffee with no passion
Does time spent together feel like it's more business than pleasure?

He has lost all interest

If your man is falling out of love with you, he will stop caring what you look like.

He will not notice or even care if you changed something. Like giving your hair a new color, buy a new dress or amp your work out plan. Besides, he might stop doing nice things for you or even paying you compliments.

He stops asking questions

When you love someone, you are always interested in their wellbeing. When your guy stops asking what you are doing, whether a headache is gone, how your ailing mum is fairing………it is a sign he is falling out of love.

He stops responding to your bid for connection

Remember how you used to connect with your man throughout the day through sexting, silly jokes, a little touch, and a particular look? These attempts to connect will disappear.

Gottman’s Research found that couples that were in love responded positively to each other’s ‘bids for connection’ 86% of the time. If your guy is regularly deflecting or ignoring your efforts to connect with him, this is most likely a sign that he is falling out of love with you.

5. He doesn’t discuss the future anymore

When your guy suddenly avoids discussing any future related plans with you, it is a sign that he does not see you in his future.

If he cannot sit through a conversation about his intentions and goals, it could mean that he does not envision the same kind of future that you do. Is he planning a trip for the summer and there is no hint that he wants you to come along? There is definitely a problem.

6. Your sex life has changed

The intimacy that you once experienced in your relationship has gone out of the window. You no longer hold hands, kiss or even hug. You struggle to remember the last time you had good ‘connected' sex. He is either very ‘tired’ at the end of the day or falls asleep faster than a baby.

Sex is a barometer for your emotional intimacy. If your guy is not interested in having sex with you, then he is probably not interested in you anymore.

It is only sex

On the flip side, your man could only be showing interest in sex and nothing more.

When you are having sex with him, you do not feel that he is physically attracted to you or even emotionally attached to you. It feels as if sex is just an act and it is more about satisfying himself. Fact is, he has fallen out of love with you but he is still having sex with you to satisfy his urge. Sickening, but true.

The Choice You Need To Make

If you are reading this article, then I assume that you want to make your relationship work. So you need to determine…

  • Is this about you & your relationship?
  • Or has he gone distant about something else, which is simply effecting your relationship?

If it's the latter, then you can typically wait it out.

Every intimate relationship goes through slumps and his detachment might not necessarily indicate that your relationship is unraveling.

If this is the case, you will want to subtly let him know that you are there if he needs you. Eventually, he will come back to you so it's important that you do not pressure him.

Pressuring him can push him further away. In his mind, he needs the distance to deal with the issue. When he works it out for himself he will be finished.

What to do if you think it's about you & your relationship

If all signs indicate that your man is falling out of love, it's time to try and have an honest conversation. Indulging in an uncomfortable conversation with him is way better than carrying on an unfulfilling relationship.

You may even find that your man’s indifference is due to a situation that can be remedied. With openness and enough motivation, you could get his feelings back in line and save your relationship.

Unfortunately, when you do try to bring it up he's probably not going to want to talk about it. Men in these situations seem to feel like ‘she should just know if she knows me.'

So if you are genuinely not sure what is behind his behavior how do you find out?

There is a short video you watch that reveals the inner working of the male mind. Including the #1 most important thing in his life (his obsession), and what he needs from you in a relationship.

I highly recommend the video.

Is it the end?

If, however, you find that he is falling out of love and there is absolutely no value in the relationship, it is time for you to move on. And you know what, do it with your head held high.

The fact that he has fallen out of love with you does not mean that you are not a great catch or a spectacular person. Move on and find someone worth your time.

Every minute you waste trying to make him fall back in love again is the time you could be spending on things. Like making yourself happy or getting out there meeting a good man who will love and treasure you.

Conclusion

Thanks for reading this guide on the signs he is falling out of love with you. Best of luck in your situation. You can contact me here.