HE SEEMS LIKE A GREAT CATCH…. but how can you be sure?
In a study, when asked what is preventing them from meeting the right man, 38% percent of women agreed that they have no time, while 28% indicated that there are no good places to meet. A whopping 28% of the women said that all the good ones are taken.
That means one out of four of your single friends has given up on men. Their reason, ‘there aren’t any good men available anymore.’
I wasn’t surprised that some women think that there aren’t any good men around, but not 1 in 4. This is a large proportion of women are starting to give up on the notion of ‘growing old with someone’, or even starting a (nuclear) family.
But, why are good men hard to find?
Western culture has evolved in ways that have made finding a good man tough. Over the past few decades, the traditional relationship set up has broken down. Previously, men needed access to sex while women lacked access to resources.
The man knew that he could not get sex if he did not have resources and was not ready to commit to a woman. So the system was set up for him to work hard, be responsible and then he could choose a woman and commit to her. This setup was a grand bargain that worked for both sides.
However, the reality of today is that sex is cheap. With the thriving online dating sites and mass production of high-quality pornography, men have easy access to countless willing sex partners.
Today’s man can have all the sex he wants at minimal cost. This has, in turn, turned many men into louts because they do not have to prove themselves as providers anymore.
But just because our culture has changed doesn’t mean there aren’t good men around.
What makes a good man – 7 questions to answer
The following are a few essentials of a quality man, capable of commitment. They will help you determine what to look for in a guy.
1. What is his level of maturity?
You will be able to quickly determine a guy’s emotional maturity by observing how he reacts to situations and how he treats the people around him. In a restaurant, for instance, when they take a bit longer to get to your table, how does he react? Does he take it in his stride or does he lose his temper? Does he shout at the server when an order gets mixed up?
Even if he is on his best behavior, it is hard for him to hide long-standing habits. Watch him keenly enough, and you will be able to determine whether you are on the right path.
2. Does he have a purpose?
Experts say that men derive a huge chunk of their identity from their dreams. If a man is creating and working towards something that is bigger than himself, he is likely to be more satisfied, and as a result, he can be a better partner.
3. Who are his friends?
Experts say that a majority of guys who get married had a friend who got married within the last year. You can learn much about a guy by who he spends his time with. Are his friends mature? Do they share your values? Does he maintain friendships?
4. Is he available?
Experts say that many men are hardly available because they overlap their relationships. ‘Single' does not always mean available. If he is holding ties with his ex, or he is consumed with work that he has no room for someone else, he will eventually hurt you because he is not ready for a long-term relationship.
5. Is he is direct?
Many guys think that if they have this ‘whatever’ attitude, women will suddenly fall in love with them. A relationship with a guy who plays games will only end in tears. A quality man should be able to look straight into your eyes and express himself. Anything less than that and he is weak. You should not settle for weak.
6. Is he kind?
Men who are ready for relationships tend to be passed a few different phases of their life. Most notably their ‘fun and adventure phase’, their ‘get paid’ phase. Kindness comes after this. It demonstrates that his life isn’t all about him. Which is important when it comes to starting a family.
7. Is he honest?
Men don’t always do the right thing, or know what the right thing is. But as long as he is honest about it, you can deal with it. If he is hiding something, it can ruin trust and it can have an impact on his life and the peoples around him. Him being honest, is very important.
So are there any good men left?
Finding that man who is a combination of best friend, lover, and partner is just about the hardest thing in the world. Many women want to cut the chase and find a great guy.
Unfortunately, the quest for a good man takes a lot of effort: planning and prospecting. The reward is never immediate, but if you are consistent, you will meet a fantastic guy worthy of your affection.
Thanks for reading this guide on what makes a good man.
Want to find a good man? Here are a few, ‘old-fashioned' places you can find where to find a good man