YOU HAVE DONE IT ALL… You've:
- Dressed in soft pastel and feminine colors to make yourself more approachable
- Smiled a lot in the presence of guys that you are attracted to
- Tactically run your fingers through your hair delicately, and occasionally twirl strands of your tips around your finger
- Even licked your lips and looked at the gorgeous guy in front of you under your eyebrow.
And you still didn’t get the guy to show interest. Just what are you doing wrong?
The problem is that all the advice out there about attracting men has been leading you on a wild goose chase. Most of the traditional tips encourage women to concentrate on their physical appearance to attract men.
Unfortunately, this advice treats men as shallow, sexual beings and deprives you of the opportunity to build real romantic connections.
The law of attraction
Not all men are chasing after supermodels and false impressions. Ken Page, the author of Deeper Dating, indicates that men may initially be drawn to you by your physical looks.
But by concentrating on physical appearance alone, you are distracted from cultivating science-based traits that attract love and intimacy.
The good news
The good news is that you probably already possess all the qualities that you need to attract a great guy. The truth is that you have more likely been concentrating on the not so important things…
How you can get a guy attracted to you
Go to places that make you happy
You cannot hope to attract a great guy and yet you lock yourself at home.
Go to places that make you happy, where men happen to be. Common ground is always the basis for all conversations. Events that have some interesting context make it easier for you to meet guys.
It is hard for a guy to imagine that you have anything in common when he meets you in a mundane place like a bar. But it is easier for him to see that you have a lot in common when you meet in a bar for a fundraiser for kids with autism. Maybe you are both familiar with autism; maybe you have siblings with autism; perhaps you are both volunteers.
Suddenly you have a deeper connection- something real in common.
Sit in a strategic place
Don't stand in the corner. When you are at a social place or occasion, choose a location in a high traffic area or in the center of the room. This allows any guy who would like to talk to you do it as he is just passing or when he is ordering a drink.
Also, ensure you face the main traffic area. This is so that a guy can walk up to your face to face instead of having to tap you on the back.
If you're in a bar, sit at the bar. This is the place that everyone will visit at least once giving you more opportunities to meet someone.
In a coffee shop, sit facing the door and glance up at each person as they come in.
In the street, stroll and be aware of the people around you. Don't be afraid to say hello to the person next to you on the shuttle or while waiting in an elevator.
NOTE: You can find more places to find good men ‘offline' in this article
Be open to the world
Many girls want to attract great guys, and yet they are good at hiding. One example is going shopping when wearing earphones. Earphones are a big, ‘Do not disturb’ sign.
Instead be a girl who reads
Phones and earphones are generally not great conversation starters. Books, on the other hand, make for great conversations.
When a guy sees you engrossed in a book, he is likely to be wondering: ‘What is she reading?’ ‘What other books does she read?’ And you know what, there is only one way to find out!
Leave a seat open
When a guy wants to meet a new girl, he chooses the path of least resistance.
Is there a seat open next to you or does he have to ask you to move your coat and purse? As such, sit in the middle of an empty church pew or one of two open bar stools.
When you leave some space, you somehow communicate that you are willing to talk to people and you are open to companionship. Sitting at the farthest tucked away corner gives the impression that you are not inviting an approach.
Whether you are walking, standing or seated, you must distinguish yourself from the others.
Wherever you are, own your space. Do not give any impression of discomfort: downcast eyes, self-hugging. Be in the present, be at ease and keep your chin up. There is nothing more attractive than a woman who owns her space and is comfortable in her skin.
Also, have fun and be genuinely happy. This automatically makes you more attractive to men. No man wants to be around a woman who is bored or agitated.
What does your body language communicate? Body language is an essential element that shapes the way a man sees you.
Are your hands relaxed or clenched? Tense hands express that you are an unhappy, stubborn person. Exposed wrists and open palms, on the other hand, project a more welcoming aura.
A beautiful posture is one of the things that will fascinate a man. A quality man will have nothing to do with a woman who slouches. He considers her lazy, and this is a real turn off. When you are walking, ensure your stride is relaxed. This gives you presence and charisma.
While at it, do not forget eye contact and your beautiful smile. A study by the University of Missouri indicated that a woman sitting in a bar was approached by guys 20% of the time when she made eye contact with them. However, when she paired eye contact with her smile, she increased the success rate by 60%.
Does this come as a surprise? A study by the University of Texas at Austin revealed that kindness was one of the most desired traits in a partner by men. Apparently, men associate kindness with interest in a long-term relationship and empathy in rearing children.
Small gestures that show your affection rank big with a man: Helping others, taking care of things, letting the other person order first, being polite to the server: all these tap into your nurturing element that shows him that you are a truly decent person.
A positive attitude
Research shows that positive personality traits impact perceptions of physical attractiveness.
Experts say that men are attracted to pleasant, positive and cheerful personalities in women. Guys associate these positive personality traits with not only physical attraction but also, a higher social attraction which is a major factor when a man is choosing a life partner.
Your vibe can take you from simply looking hot to being irresistible to men. Complaining, arguing, criticizing, ridiculing, bullying, condescending others: all these make you unattractive and repel men. Ultimately a man will judge you based on how he is likely to feel when he is with you. Female happiness is an aphrodisiac to men.
When you have his attention…
When you have caught the attention of your guy, let him make the next move.
There is nothing that thrills a man than chasing and getting a woman. So you must make it possible for him to chase you: Do not be easy and do not be impossible, either.
Any time you say no to something, give him enough hints to show him that you like him. However, do not string him along for too long; otherwise, he will lose interest.
Always ensure that the guy has a good time when he is with you. If time with you feels good, he will come back for more. If it is fun and exciting, you will become the most important person in his life.
Thanks for reading this guide on how to attract a guy. You can contact me here if you have any questions or comments.