EVERYTHING IS PERFECT, EXCEPT you have developed intense feelings for him.
If only you could make him see things the same as you
So how do you make him realize that the two of you would be good together? How can you become more than friends and get out of the friend zone?
Why were you friend zoned?
Which one are you?
The mother figure
Many women become friend zoned because they mother the guy. You become a shoulder to cry on for a guy; and what happens? He friend zones you and moves on to marry the next girl. Being a guy’s confidante (without him being attracted to you first) is the most definite way to get into the friend zone.
He will never date you as long as he sees you as a mother and not a potential mate.
Many women think that when they do everything for a man, he will like them more. The reality is that this only kills the attraction. When you work very hard to become a guy’s best friend, while your intention may be to be romantic with him, the opposite happens: You depolarize yourself from him.
Some women (who have read bad books like ‘the rules') think that treating men mean is a good way get them interested. It isn't.
In fact, this only works with guys who have low self-esteem and generally aren't the guys you want. Good men don't want to be treated like a doormat. If you have been putting him down in front of his friends (even playfully) then this is you.
The woman in the background
This is more common than you might think. You may simply have not aroused his curiosity enough to notice you. And if he hasn't noticed you then he hasn't thought about you as a potential girlfriend.
How to get out of the friend zone
Many think that once they are in the friend zone, they are in it for life. This is completely untrue.
You are in the friend zone because there are things you are inadvertently doing that are keeping you there; you put yourself there. Fortunately, there are things you can start doing this very minute to dig yourself out of this dreaded place.
Figure out how the guy sees you
When the man that you love looks at you, what he sees in you is not girlfriend material. Honestly examining how he sees you is essential. If he sees you as a therapist or a sibling, you have no hope of building a romantic relationship with him.
So how does the guy see you?
Again you might think that you are this incredible, sexy woman, but the guy doesn’t see any sexiness when he looks at you. Take a step back and ask yourself:
- Are you always listening to the guy’s problems?
- Are you always ready to make brownies when he has had a tough day?
- Does he always let you lead the conversation and/or activity?
- Are you available to the extent that he is taking you for granted?
- Do you always agree to meet every time he asks to hang out?
- Does he consider you sexy or does he relate to you as he does with the guy next door?
- Does he know much about you other than your name?
When you see yourself through the guy’s eyes, it is a great way to see things in a whole different light. Change the role you are playing, and you will be climbing out of the friend zone in no time.
Revamp your look
You do not have to change your look entirely to win over the guy. But, if you want the man to see you as more than a friend, you have to sex it up a bit. When you are with him, dress as you would when you are going out with your girls, or on a hot date with a hot sexy guy.
You have been dressing for comfort around the man; after all, you are good friends. Your aim going forward should be to feel sexy and confident when you are with him. If your appearance been too platonic, this automatically disqualifies you as a romantic partner.
So, reinvent yourself:
- Change your wardrobe. Choose clothes that are contrary to the fashion that he has come to associate with you.
- Start getting into better shape and wow him. You don’t have to be perfect but just starting to transform before his eyes will make him notice you.
- Change your hairstyle and makeup styles adopt those that make you more appealing.
- Focus on making the people around you happy. This is an extremely attractive quality to men that goes unnoticed by women.
The problem is that he sees you all the time. How does he even know what he is missing? If you want the guy to value you, you have to take a break from him. With a little distance, there is a chance that he will miss you and realize what you have to offer.
Giving yourself a break helps reset your relationship changes the dynamics. (Not a great example but think ‘old you' and now ‘new you')
This includes phone calls, texting and other communication. You can make an excuse if you want to (visiting family). If he does text you listen in a friendly manner then exit the conversation politely.
Have your own life
It is not enough to give your boyfriend some space but is also crucial that you have your own life. You only have one life, and you should not put it on hold for anyone. Also, the more you go out there and do the things you love, the more you will feel and look better and the more you will be more attractive.
When you are fixated on your attraction for the guy, you give off a needy vibe and neediness is anything but sexy.
Get passionate about something
Take up something that you are passionate about or start advancing your career. You will busier, less accessible and you will be more attractive.
More importantly, having a more exciting life will make you feel more confident and prevent you from making the mistake of building your life around your loneliness. You will no longer look to the guy to fill an emotional void; you will just prefer him, not need him.
Let him chase you
By now the dynamic has changed. You are no longer chasing the man. You are much more attractive than the previous girl who needed to hold his hand through life.
Since you are less available, the guy will start feeling like he could lose you. Do not do much to reassure him. Leave him room to pursue you.
Men want to feel like winners
When you give the guy an opportunity to win you by stepping back, he will rise to the challenge and pursue you. And the opposite is also true. If you are in his face all the time, you will seem too easy to get: you will never be a prize.
You will only make it entirely impossible for him to realize how valuable you are and he will always take you for granted.
Get in touch with your femininity
Men like women. So you need to use this to your advantage. Wear dresses, skirts, flirt with him and let him know that you need his manly muscles for things.
You will make him feel needed, wanted, and like a man. Which will draw him to you
This leads me to my final thought
It is essential that you keep your options open. You may not want to hear this, but what if he is not ready for a relationship at all, or he is not attracted to you that way?
If you keep waiting for him to see the romantic potential between the two of you, you might waste all your time fixating on a man who will never fill that role and lose out on time you could have spent meeting an incredible man. Tying yourself up with a possible relationship and closing off every other option is just not wise.
The very final thought, I promise:
If you do not cut the umbilical cord, you will keep investing in a guy, who, all he will ever do is unload his personal issues on you. One day you will look back with bitterness and regret. Make a decision to get out of the friend zone today; no matter what the outcome could be!