NOT EVERY MAN OUT THERE IS an alpha male.
Not every guy who has a crush on you has it in him to force himself out of his comfort zone and make the move he is dying to make.
Some guys are introverted, shy and self-conscious. And they find it difficult to muster even the courage to say hello especially if they are intimidated by you.
You are likely to be intimidating to a guy if:
- You have a successful career: Some guys may think dating a successful career woman is hot, but others will feel as if it is a blow to their ego, dating a CEO while they are probably in the mid-management in their industry.
- He thinks you look like a model: A guy with the slightest ounce of insecurity in his bones will be intimidated by a gorgeous woman. He may think that your ‘out of his league’ or that you should be dating an equally handsome and extremely rich guy… which he is not.
- You come from a wealthy family: If you come from a prominent family or have more money than a guy, he may feel intimidated. There is the fear that he may not live up to the kind of lifestyle you are accustomed to, or he is looked down upon by you or your family.
- You are highly intelligent: You always got straight A’s in school and graduated top of the class. Along with being accepted into every university you applied to; you graduated with distinction. While intelligence has served you well in academia and your profession, some guys fear that they cannot measure up to you, and you will eventually lose interest anyway.
- You ooze confidence: Do you exude are an aura of confidence wherever you go? Do you get into a crowded room and every head turns in your direction? Do you instantly draw people’s attention with the way you conduct yourself? Some guys will find you difficult to approach.
Unfortunately, it is not easy to figure out the shy guy. It is frustrating to determine whether he is intimidated by you or simply disinterested. Here are a few signs that he likes you but is too scared to say anything.
1. Body language
A guy who has a crush will steal glances at you a lot. The shy one, however, will sneak glances at you when you are not looking; but if you catch him looking at you, he will break eye contact.
Also, he will be anxious and fidgety around you. This guy wants to do everything perfectly. He is trying to be the best version of himself in front of you. Do not be surprised if he breaks into a sweat when he is in your presence.
Watch how he behaves around his friends. Is he the same way with them or is he confident and comfortable around them? If he is only shy in your presence, he is definitely interested.
What to do
Try to make him feel at ease by smiling at his jokes and asking questions about him. Show him respect, and he will slowly build the confidence that he needs to pursue you. Keep it simple with him for now, he may not understand your version of flirting.
2. He seems to be ‘around’ a lot.
If you work together, your crush will hang out by your locker a lot, or maybe go to your favorite coffee place all the time. He will go out of his way to do nice things for you: like grab you a coffee or a snack, share his lunch with you, save you a seat.
He will do everything to catch your attention, but that is it. Indeed, while he may be talkative with others, he will be quiet when he is around you.
These are all good signs. A guy will only hang around a woman he likes. It shows he feels good being around you and therefore he wants to be around you more. He is definitely into you but is probably too scared to tell you.
What to do
You will have to help him break out of his shell. Try to extend the conversation every time. Give him some sign to show him that you like spending time with him; and that you are also interested in him.
3. He loves to highlight his accomplishments
A guy who is intimidated by you will try to unconsciously convince you and him that he is worthy of you. So, he will somehow manage to mention his GPA, his position on the Lacrosse team and the fantastic presentation he made at the managerial meeting yesterday.
He will try to grab your attention with the story of how he rescued a small boy at the pool and how good he is at playing the electric guitar. You might mistake this for bragging, but he is only trying to impress you. He is intimidated by your resume, so he is decorating his.
What to do
Even though this can be exasperating, see the upside. This is his way of trying to impress you. Indulge him a little while and then change the subject to more important things.
4. He might avoid talking about himself
Opposite of bragging, he may avoid talking about his life: income, career, and spending habits. Since this guy is unnerved by you, he will not take the chance of exposing his weakness by talking to you about himself. He would rather talk about your achievements.
This is actually a good strategy. The more he talks about you, the more he learns about you and in the process he might find some common things and interests that you two share.
What to do
Try to extend your conversations with him. Accept his compliments and show him that you enjoy talking to him. This will give him more confidence to share the less glorious aspects of his life.
5. He is there when you need him
If you have a difficult situation and he gets to know of it, he will do even the impossible to solve it. This is his moment to shine, and his actions will say everything that his words have failed to say. He wants to show you he has many admirable attributes: he is supportive, sensitive and trustworthy. He will go the extra mile to make it up for what he lacks financially and professionally.
What to do
If you genuinely like the guy, reciprocate his kind gestures by being there for him during his own challenging situations. Also, let him know how grateful you are for his help.
A guy likes a woman who appeals to his inner hero. When he does all these things for you, it makes him feel manly. Do not ruin his fun by telling him how you are perfectly capable of doing whatever he wants to do for you. Let him feel that he is a man: let him carry the heavy items for you and tell him that you appreciate it. Something like ‘Thanks, I could use muscles like yours more often’ will get the point across.
Let him defend and protect you (even if you really do not need it).
6. He is awkward around you
He may be intimidated by the process of meeting someone he likes, so when/if he gets the courage to talk to you it can be awkward. Odd and bland conversation topics, him being awkward with his gestures.
What to do
Wait it out. He will get there eventually. If you want to see more of his normal side, then ask him about something he cares a lot about. It could be his job/hobby or something he follows (like sports or something science related).
7. He is insecure and jealous
Since he is unable to confess his feelings for you, he is also worried that another guy will attract your attention. Any man who seems to enjoy your presence triggers his hot button: your neighbor, colleagues, and other male friends.
Understand that he is worried that he is not good enough for you and that another man will successfully pursue you and hijack his chance of being with you. This may actually be the only time a guy who is feeling intimidated will act as though he really likes you.
What to do
Do not hold back from socializing with other people just because you fear his reaction. This will form the basis for controlling you, and you will eventually resent him for it. After all, he has not even admitted his feelings for you. He knows what he needs to do, let him do it.
Experts say that men are not concerned about your accomplishments. The one thing that the man cares about is how you make him feel. The man wants the feminine, kind, nurturing woman lurking inside that investment banker, fitness instructor, or top-notch attorney.
So, you know what to do:
- Get in touch with your softer side and allow your feminine energy to shine.
- Do not send a guy an email after a date; let him pursue you
- Tell him your preference, then let him lead: hail the cab, choose the table, open doors you get the drift.
- Do not talk about work on your date.
- Dress up: wear light makeup, soft colors, a dress and heels on your dates. It makes him feel important to you.
Thanks for reading this guide on Signs a Guy Likes You But is Intimidated. You can get on the private newsletter and really amp up your chances to meet your dream guy.