EVERYTHING IS PERFECT, EXCEPT you have developed intense feelings for him.
If only you could make him see things the same as you
So how do you make him realize that the two of you would be good together? How can you become more than friends and get out of the friend zone?
Why were you friend zoned?
Which one are you?
The mother figure
Many women become friend zoned because they mother the guy. You become a shoulder to cry on for a guy; and what happens? He friend zones you and moves on to marry the next girl. Being a guy’s confidante (without him being attracted to you first) is the most definite way to get into the friend zone.
He will never date you as long as he sees you as a mother and not a potential mate.
Many women think that when they do everything for a man, he will like them more. The reality is that this only kills the attraction. When you work very hard to become a guy’s best friend, while your intention may be to be romantic with him, the opposite happens: You depolarize yourself from him.
Some women (who have read bad books like ‘the rules') think that treating men mean is a good way get them interested. It isn't.
In fact, this only works with guys who have low self-esteem and generally aren't the guys you want. Good men don't want to be treated like a doormat. If you have been putting him down in front of his friends (even playfully) then this is you.
The woman in the background
This is more common than you might think. You may simply have not aroused his curiosity enough to notice you. And if he hasn't noticed you then he hasn't thought about you as a potential girlfriend.
How to get out of the friend zone
Many think that once they are in the friend zone, they are in it for life. This is completely untrue.
You are in the friend zone because there are things you are inadvertently doing that are keeping you there; you put yourself there. Fortunately, there are things you can start doing this very minute to dig yourself out of this dreaded place.
Figure out how the guy sees you
When the man that you love looks at you, what he sees in you is not girlfriend material. Honestly examining how he sees you is essential. If he sees you as a therapist or a sibling, you have no hope of building a romantic relationship with him.
So how does the guy see you?
Again you might think that you are this incredible, sexy woman, but the guy doesn’t see any sexiness when he looks at you. Take a step back and ask yourself:
Are you always listening to the guy’s problems?
Are you always ready to make brownies when he has had a tough day?
Does he always let you lead the conversation and/or activity?
Are you available to the extent that he is taking you for granted?
Do you always agree to meet every time he asks to hang out?
Does he consider you sexy or does he relate to you as he does with the guy next door?
Does he know much about you other than your name?
When you see yourself through the guy’s eyes, it is a great way to see things in a whole different light. Change the role you are playing, and you will be climbing out of the friend zone in no time.
Revamp your look
You do not have to change your look entirely to win over the guy. But, if you want the man to see you as more than a friend, you have to sex it up a bit. When you are with him, dress as you would when you are going out with your girls, or on a hot date with a hot sexy guy.
You have been dressing for comfort around the man; after all, you are good friends. Your aim going forward should be to feel sexy and confident when you are with him. If your appearance been too platonic, this automatically disqualifies you as a romantic partner.
So, reinvent yourself:
Change your wardrobe. Choose clothes that are contrary to the fashion that he has come to associate with you.
Start getting into better shape and wow him. You don’t have to be perfect but just starting to transform before his eyes will make him notice you.
Change your hairstyle and makeup styles adopt those that make you more appealing.
Focus on making the people around you happy. This is an extremely attractive quality to men that goes unnoticed by women.
The problem is that he sees you all the time. How does he even know what he is missing? If you want the guy to value you, you have to take a break from him. With a little distance, there is a chance that he will miss you and realize what you have to offer.
Giving yourself a break helps reset your relationship changes the dynamics. (Not a great example but think ‘old you' and now ‘new you')
This includes phone calls, texting and other communication. You can make an excuse if you want to (visiting family). If he does text you listen in a friendly manner then exit the conversation politely.
Have your own life
It is not enough to give your boyfriend some space but is also crucial that you have your own life. You only have one life, and you should not put it on hold for anyone. Also, the more you go out there and do the things you love, the more you will feel and look better and the more you will be more attractive.
When you are fixated on your attraction for the guy, you give off a needy vibe and neediness is anything but sexy.
Get passionate about something
Take up something that you are passionate about or start advancing your career. You will busier, less accessible and you will be more attractive.
More importantly, having a more exciting life will make you feel more confident and prevent you from making the mistake of building your life around your loneliness. You will no longer look to the guy to fill an emotional void; you will just prefer him, not need him.
Let him chase you
By now the dynamic has changed. You are no longer chasing the man. You are much more attractive than the previous girl who needed to hold his hand through life.
Since you are less available, the guy will start feeling like he could lose you. Do not do much to reassure him. Leave him room to pursue you.
Men want to feel like winners
When you give the guy an opportunity to win you by stepping back, he will rise to the challenge and pursue you. And the opposite is also true. If you are in his face all the time, you will seem too easy to get: you will never be a prize.
You will only make it entirely impossible for him to realize how valuable you are and he will always take you for granted.
Get in touch with your femininity
Men like women. So you need to use this to your advantage. Wear dresses, skirts, flirt with him and let him know that you need his manly muscles for things.
You will make him feel needed, wanted, and like a man. Which will draw him to you
This leads me to my final thought
It is essential that you keep your options open. You may not want to hear this, but what if he is not ready for a relationship at all, or he is not attracted to you that way?
If you keep waiting for him to see the romantic potential between the two of you, you might waste all your time fixating on a man who will never fill that role and lose out on time you could have spent meeting an incredible man. Tying yourself up with a possible relationship and closing off every other option is just not wise.
The very final thought, I promise:
If you do not cut the umbilical cord, you will keep investing in a guy, who, all he will ever do is unload his personal issues on you. One day you will look back with bitterness and regret. Make a decision to get out of the friend zone today; no matter what the outcome could be!
THINGS HAVE REALLY BEEN great between you and your man. But now, something is off.
There is a feeling …the palpable shift that you can’t quite put your finger on, and it just hangs in the air, sending waves of panic throughout your being.
Sometimes you wonder whether you are imagining things; that your fears and insecurities are probably acting up.
But wait……… Why, all of a sudden, is he so busy with everything and everyone else apart from you?
And is this ‘normal man behavior' that should be waited out like a surfer waiting out small waves… or something more serious?
Business as UN-usual
Unfortunately, many women have gone through the most challenging situation in relationships. When they thought that things were going really great until suddenly they weren’t. If something seems off, that’s an issue.
You shouldn’t be kept awake at night wondering if your man still loves you.
Men show signs when they are falling out of love with a woman, and it is important to keep a keen eye on what is happening to avoid serious heartbreak. Keep reading to find out if your guy is still invested in your relationship.
The Six Signs He Is Falling Out Of Love With You
1. He spends more time away
Any relationship is an investment of time, emotions and energy on multiple levels.
If your man is noticeably spending less time at home, watch out and find out what is going on with him. In a study, 55% of men said that they spent more time away from home when they were falling out of love with their women
Remember that feeling of not being able to get enough of each other? If you feel that the bliss is slowly yielding to a sense that your man suddenly needs a lot of ‘space’, you need to wake up and smell the coffee.
2. He avoids contact with you
The contact you have with your man during the day helps the two of you to develop a general awareness of each other. A study showed that 29% of men said that they avoided contact with their women when they felt that their emotional connection was waning.
You do all the communicating
Earlier on, it was all about you. He called you, he texted you and showed up in your office whenever time allowed. Now, he is always busy, and he has no time to talk. It is you who is reaching out most of the time. This could be a sign that he is falling out of love.
No calls; only texts(and short ones at that)
Earlier on, your man called you frequently ‘just to hear your voice’. Now he cannot be bothered to call you, and he has resulted to texts.
A man who loves you will phone you, talk to you and actually engage on the phone for some time. If he has all of a sudden resulted to brief, impersonal texts, something is definitely amiss.
He spends time with you on his phone
Whereas he hardly has any time to communicate with you when you are apart, your man will spend his time on his phone in your company. This could be a way of distracting himself from spending real time with you, which only indicates that he is losing interest in you.
Bottom line, if communicating with your man no longer feels easy and effortless, and has started to feel like a struggle, he could be falling out of love with you.
3. He picks fights
This is a common thing that men do when they are falling out of love with a girl or walking towards breaking up with her.
It is his way of trying to get out of a relationship without having to be the bad guy who hurt you. The strategy is to drive you crazy so that you break up with him. He will constantly turn every little thing into an argument, pick on you and give you a hard time about everything.
He will make offensive jokes, ignore you or even get downright contemptuous. Indeed you will notice that he may intentionally start doing the things that you hate. The idea is to push you away by constantly getting you irritated.
If you are suddenly walking on eggshells around your man, this could be the clearest indication that he is falling out of love.
4. He stops noticing you
There will be radical shifts in the attention that he once gave you; physically, emotionally, or both.
He has lost all interest
If your man is falling out of love with you, he will stop caring what you look like.
He will not notice or even care if you changed something. Like giving your hair a new color, buy a new dress or amp your work out plan. Besides, he might stop doing nice things for you or even paying you compliments.
He stops asking questions
When you love someone, you are always interested in their wellbeing. When your guy stops asking what you are doing, whether a headache is gone, how your ailing mum is fairing………it is a sign he is falling out of love.
He stops responding to your bid for connection
Remember how you used to connect with your man throughout the day through sexting, silly jokes, a little touch, and a particular look? These attempts to connect will disappear.
Gottman’s Research found that couples that were in love responded positively to each other’s ‘bids for connection’ 86% of the time. If your guy is regularly deflecting or ignoring your efforts to connect with him, this is most likely a sign that he is falling out of love with you.
5. He doesn’t discuss the future anymore
When your guy suddenly avoids discussing any future related plans with you, it is a sign that he does not see you in his future.
If he cannot sit through a conversation about his intentions and goals, it could mean that he does not envision the same kind of future that you do. Is he planning a trip for the summer and there is no hint that he wants you to come along? There is definitely a problem.
6. Your sex life has changed
The intimacy that you once experienced in your relationship has gone out of the window. You no longer hold hands, kiss or even hug. You struggle to remember the last time you had good ‘connected' sex. He is either very ‘tired’ at the end of the day or falls asleep faster than a baby.
Sex is a barometer for your emotional intimacy. If your guy is not interested in having sex with you, then he is probably not interested in you anymore.
It is only sex
On the flip side, your man could only be showing interest in sex and nothing more.
When you are having sex with him, you do not feel that he is physically attracted to you or even emotionally attached to you. It feels as if sex is just an act and it is more about satisfying himself. Fact is, he has fallen out of love with you but he is still having sex with you to satisfy his urge. Sickening, but true.
The Choice You Need To Make
If you are reading this article, then I assume that you want to make your relationship work. So you need to determine…
Is this about you & your relationship?
Or has he gone distant about something else, which is simply effecting your relationship?
If it's the latter, then you can typically wait it out.
Every intimate relationship goes through slumps and his detachment might not necessarily indicate that your relationship is unraveling.
If this is the case, you will want to subtly let him know that you are there if he needs you. Eventually, he will come back to you so it's important that you do not pressure him.
Pressuring him can push him further away. In his mind, he needs the distance to deal with the issue. When he works it out for himself he will be finished.
What to do if you think it's about you & your relationship
If all signs indicate that your man is falling out of love, it's time to try and have an honest conversation. Indulging in an uncomfortable conversation with him is way better than carrying on an unfulfilling relationship.
You may even find that your man’s indifference is due to a situation that can be remedied. With openness and enough motivation, you could get his feelings back in line and save your relationship.
Unfortunately, when you do try to bring it up he's probably not going to want to talk about it. Men in these situations seem to feel like ‘she should just know if she knows me.'
So if you are genuinely not sure what is behind his behavior how do you find out?
There is a short video you watch that reveals the inner working of the male mind. Including the #1 most important thing in his life (his obsession), and what he needs from you in a relationship.
If, however, you find that he is falling out of love and there is absolutely no value in the relationship, it is time for you to move on. And you know what, do it with your head held high.
The fact that he has fallen out of love with you does not mean that you are not a great catch or a spectacular person. Move on and find someone worth your time.
Every minute you waste trying to make him fall back in love again is the time you could be spending on things. Like making yourself happy or getting out there meeting a good man who will love and treasure you.
Thanks for reading this guide on the signs he is falling out of love with you. Best of luck in your situation. You can contact me here.
Note: This article is my opinion after purchasing and going through the program. To write it I have read and listened to the program, as well as used my knowledge of other programs.
Note: This article contains sponsored links at no cost to you
WHY DO MEN STAY with women?
The general belief around men and relationships is that they don’t want commitment. All they really want is sex, and regular sex is how women can keep men in a relationship.
But is this really true?
Well the good news is that this question (and many others) is covered in detail in the ‘Why Men Pull Away’ program by Slade Shaw.
What is the Why Men Pull Away Program… in One Sentence?
The Why Men Pull Away program is a comprehensive guide to what is happening inside a man’s brain when it comes to commitment as well as the tools you need to communicate with him on a deeper level, to get the best out of him, make him happy, as well as move your relationship forward.
What’s the Why Men Pull Away (WMPA) program about… in a bit more detail?
Why Men Pull Away is mostly about commitment, and understanding what a man needs to commit. Along with what he doesn’t want, and some of the trials and tribulations that happen along the way in a typical relationship scenario.
It’s important to remember that men have been this way (pulling away from women in relationships) for tens of thousands of years. This is important for two reasons. One it’s natural. Two, trying to change men in one short lifetime isn’t going to work. So you need to work with it.
That element (the tens of thousands of years of male evolution) is what the book is based on. ‘The paleolithic principle’.
The dream girl factor is about putting yourself in his shoes and asking, ‘what does he want from me?’. This isn’t groundbreaking, but with the help of the author, you can start empathizing and understanding where he is coming from and why. And how, in your particular situation, to meet his needs.
The program covers in some detail, the stages of commitment and a relationship, as well as how to keep the relationship moving forward. There is also a section on the stages of him pulling away and coming back.
There is also an entire section on why he might pull away for the wrong reasons, and what you can do about it.
What can you expect, after going through the program
After going through this program, you can reasonably expect to be able to diagnose where your current (or past) relationships went wrong and how you can go about creating better relationships in the future.
You can also expect to be able to make better decisions regarding him in-the-moment, and understand the language he needs to hear from you.
If you have ever felt like your relationship was ‘stuck’, like many women do, then WMPA will tell you what’s happening in his brain that is stopping progress. You will also learn what you need to do to keep the relationship moving forward.
Who is this program for?
It’s for women who want or have a relationship with a man, and you are not sure how to handle when he starts to pull away.
There are bits and pieces for every stage of your relationship journey, single, dating to married with kids. But it’s mostly for dating and relationships.
Although the program is pictured on the website as books and CD's, it is only available as a digital download. To get a physical version, you would have to print and bind the text sections yourself.
What’s in the program?
Why men pull away – ebook and audio recording
Communication Secrets for a Long, Strong Relationship – audio recording and transcription .pdf
How to Reignite & Maintain Long-Term Attraction – audio recording and transcription .pdf
Interview with Scot McKay – Audio interview
Interview with James Bauer – Audio interview
My ‘Why Men Pull Away' Review | Part-by-Part
Introduction – Why You’re Here
This section is mostly build up of what you will learn in the rest of the program. It also talks about how you should read and listen to the program. No real content.
The Paleolithic Principle And The Dream Girl Factor
Without giving away the detail this section covers what the title says. It isn’t all information in though, there is also ‘the question system’ that is directed towards getting him to open up to you while avoiding putting him in a mood. The section rounds out with an explanation of what is covered.
What you’ll learn:
What the most attractive quality men find in women is (it’s not what you think)
What men really want from a relationship… It’s not what you think
The question formula you should use to get him to get him to open up to you when he is pulling away
How to make sure your timing with men is right, every time.
Part One – Making Your Man User-Friendly: Understanding The Male Mind Before You Do Anything Else
This section is the largest section of the program and is mostly about commitment. What it is for you and how he sees commitment. Including what makes a man propose to a woman… the fundamental reason.
Part one lays some of the groundwork down for what you need to do. It starts with a wide and broad section on what not to do with men.
Then it moves onto understanding how to know what you actually want and finding out the simple things that he wants out of his relationships.
This includes stuff like, how to let him know you're interested. How to get him to open up to you and tell you things that he hasn’t told anyone. And how to get him to want him to commit to you.
Why YOU being happy is the most important thing in your marriage/relationship or finding a relationship
What you’ll learn:
What does commitment mean to him and when it happens in his mind?
What to do If Your Man is pulling away right now and you need help?
Find Out What He Really Thinks: How To Talk To Him About Commitment, Closeness, And Your Future Together
How to know if Your Hopes For The Relationship Unreasonable or You’re On The Right Track
Navigating the 5 stages of commitment: how to get from “hello” to “we’re soulmates” in 5 easy steps
How to motivate a man to be an active participant in a relationship, rather than couch sitting, tv watching zombie
The questions to ask that will prompt him to share and open up emotionally in your relationship (this is a must-read if you want a long-term relationship!)
3 questions you can ask to get him to prove himself to you and why they work so well…
The 3 essential and universal needs of men and what happens when you don’t meet them
Part Two – How To Get Him To Focus On You By Giving Him What He Doesn’t Even Realize He Needs
Part two is about what makes a man fall in love. Most of it covers what most women miss and actually do to sabotage themselves.
This is good news because it means that if you have experienced or are experiencing the man in your life pull away, there is something you can do about it. It is not a lottery.
The first section talks about letting him know that it’s ok for him to fall in love with you. As a man, I can tell you that women can make it hard. As it says in the program, women have a much bigger center in their brains for communication than men do. So men can feel like ‘it’s not ok to talk to her about these things’ she will get angry, upset or try to talk me out of doing it.’ It sounds small but it is massive.
Does the man in your life feel like it’s ok to love you? Or does he feel as though it is mandatory? Or maybe he feels it isn’t ok to say or do it. If it’s the second or the third, then you probably feel like your relationship is you pulling him along with you. It shouldn’t feel like that and this is the reason why. The program goes into more details here. I think you’d want to read/listen to this section a few times if this resonates with you.
This section also talks about when a man pulls away… (which is normal). Instead of fighting it, getting emotional and doing things that you don’t usually do, or simply keep prompting him for an answer, the program shows you how to deal with it and come out the other side stronger.
What makes a man fall in love?
What to do if he knows you love him and he is still pulling away?
5 ways to talk to him about your relationship to keep things moving forward
One strategy for when he pulls away that will have him springing back to you more committed than before
When to have the different ‘commitment conversations’
Part Three – Things That Drive Men Away
Part three will be the meat of the entire program for most women. It covers what drives him away from your relationship, you and commitment in general.
It might also be a little confrontational. Slade pretty straight up with the advice here.
The good news is that the reasons behind everything are explained. I guess it’s no great surprise that nagging is mentioned here as a thing that drives men away. Men detest it. Well the reason why it doesn’t work for him is in this section. Why men’s brains don’t actually understand nagging and being nagged at, how they actually tune it out (and you thought his hearing needed to be checked) and how to make a slight change to your language to get what you want and ‘train him to listen’
Not all the information in this part here is groundbreaking, but it is solid.
Slade also talks about being a dreamgirl. I think this is a good idea, simply because it puts you in the right state of mind to deal with him. Thinking ‘what does he want?’ first. If you do this, and he puts you first, you can’t go wrong.
There’s also a section on ‘why men cheat’. It’s relatively simple compared to some other authors on a similar topic before. But it’s not all bad. Keeping it simple makes it easy to follow, and understand. Although some of the points you will most likely already know.
The reasons men are secretly afraid of committing to you (and start pulling away)
The one thing that pushes men away, more than anything else
Why he becomes so grumpy all of a sudden, and how to get him out of his cave when he does
How to get your point across that doesn’t push him away
Why men cheat and how to ‘other-woman-proof’ your relationship
How to deal with work addicts
What men are secretly afraid of (that makes them pull away from their relationship)
Part Four – How To Bring Him Closer
Part four is about keeping the relationship strong into the future. It’s more general in nature with some guidelines to follow. As per the other parts, there are examples, and everything is well explained. There aren’t any magic bullets here (which there aren’t anyway), so it’s a simple, guide to follow to keep your relationship strong into the future.
There isn’t a big bang type conclusion either. Just a few words summarising the program.
What Makes A Man Start Thinking About Forever?
How to get him to start thinking about the future
What to do when he acts distant and you’ve tried everything you can think of…
BONUS – How to Reignite & Maintain Long-Term Attraction Bonus Interview – With Amy Waterman and Marie Forleo
This 42-minute audio interview and 20-page transcription (in .pdf) on the topic of reigniting and maintaining long-term attraction.
The information comes thick and fast and some of the topics covered are, why having fun is so important in a relationship and how to do it, how to keep the physical attraction alive, and tips to maintaining long-term attraction.
As you can tell by the title, this interview is primarily for women in a long-term relationship.
BONUS – Communication Secrets for a Long, Strong Relationship – With Amy Waterman and Renee Piane
This is a one-hour audio interview (with accompanying 26 page .pdf transcription) around the topic of communication in a relationship. Renee is best known as the author of ‘love mechanics’ which is a system designed for men to help get them relationship ready.
The interview covers topics like, dealing with emotions, criticism in your relationship, how to accept the person that you are with and what to do when the relationship breaks down. This interview is aimed more for people in a committed relationship. It is also a little dated as the transcription is dated 2008.
BONUS – Interview with James Bauer
This 36-minute interview (.mp3 format) with dating and relationships coach James Bauer gets into some of the finer points of male relationship psychology. In particular, why men pull away, what makes men cheat, why men lose interest, why men lie, and what makes them fall out of love.
James is an expert in this area and this interview contains some great information about what’s happening in his brain during the relationship.
BONUS – Interview with Scot McKay
This 46-minute interview (.mp3 format) with Scot McKay, an expert in the dating and relationships space. Scot deals directly with his clients so his advice is real and to the point.
Scot answers questions put to him by surveyed women, in detail, and with a comprehensive understanding. At the very least, this audio will give you a different perspective on some situations you may be experiencing now, or experienced in the past.
PROS & CONS
The program gives plenty of direction, including exactly what you should do at times in the way of text messages, and what to say and do.
I think the greatest strength of this program is that it doesn’t simply tell you why you should be doing something, it gives you the reasons why so you can understand why yourself.
And then you can start making the right decisions, and truly understand what he wants.
Many questions answered
Probably the greatest part of the program, I felt, was that it answered so many questions. How do you do this, why does that happen, what should you do when he does this etc.
There is something here for every situation you may find yourself in when your man pulls away (and also general relationship stuff)
Not really any exercises
The reason why I write this as a con is that they can help you get some momentum. There’s one by my count.
Main points could be a little clearer
As I was going through the program, I felt like the information was coming thick and fast and not necessarily sticking. The main points weren’t as clear as they could have been. I needed to listen to the program and refer to the .pdf a few times for me to understand what is what.
Some of the bonuses I felt weren’t as strong as they could be. Some of the advice was very general, broad and cliche. There wasn’t much new information in my opinion as there perhaps could have been. The interview with James Bauer was good (although it felt a little like an advertorial), but the others I felt like a lot of it was simply an opinion on someone else's situation and could have been more helpful.
In Summary (My Opinion)
There is some solid information in this program. It’s put together in a language that is easy to understand and it’s mostly simple to follow.
There is plenty of theory, explanation and enough examples to help anyone with their relationship. You don’t need to have any background knowledge (in relationships, psychology, etc.) to get the maximum benefit out of this program.
Some of the parts covered are common sense, and some of them you may have learned at high school. Although you may have heard them before, they may help reassure you if you’ve heard different opinions on the same topic.
I don’t think there is any doubt that this program can really help, simply by going through it a couple of times. The reason why is there is a lot of things women do that sabotage their own efforts. This program highlights them, and lets you see what you can change.
Usually, it’s just the wording of how you talk to him or the actions that you take in a particular situation. No life changing, no need to rethink everything, just a few small things.
NOTE: This page has links that make money for AttractYourDreamGuy.com at no cost to you.
HOW MUCH DO YOU REALLY KNOW ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS AND MEN?
If a guy you had been seeing for a while didn’t call you for a couple of weeks would you know what to do?
Do you know exactly what a man needs in a relationship and how to give it to him?
Do you know how to turn your man on in a public place and have him thinking about you all day?
If your even a little unsure about any of these questions then they are answered in ‘The Devotion System’
But are they answered well enough for you to change your relationships for the better? And who is Amy North anyhow…?
After getting a copy and going through the program I have written this review. It covers the good and the not so good. And it starts below
What is The Devotion System (TDS) in one sentence?
The devotion system is a woman's guide to relationships with men.
What’s in TDS
What’s in it:
Text – YES
Audio – No (available as extra)
Video – YES (Included in text)
Bonuses (Text Reports)
Finding Love Online
TDS in detail
The Devotion System is best described (in my opinion) as a broad education about men and relationships. Rather than honing in on a particular topic or strategy, TDS covers the different stages and aspects of your relationship(s), with a focus on finding Mr. Right and keeping him.
The system is divided up into three different parts:
The 3 part system
Part 1 – Relationship basics
Find out about why what your doing right now isn’t working. And what might be standing between you and Mr Right. This section is primarily about you. Clarifying what you truly want in a relationship, understanding how to let go of what isn’t working for you now, and learning what you can do to attract your dream man.
What you will learn:
What men crave in a relationship and what will keep them around long term
The # ways that you communicate to him which turn him off
How to get him to try harder to please you
Why your man (or men in the past) have ‘tuned you out’ and what you can do about it
Plenty of ‘be attractive on the inside’ type advice. Although it may seem redundant it is also a good reminder of what the ‘basics’ are. There are just statements on what you should do, no way to go about them. And it’s generally common sense. ‘Don’t judge others’ ‘get active’
There are a few techniques but they are few and far between.
Part 2 – Men
This section covers what makes men tick. The inner workings of men and why they do the things that they do. In particular, why men chase, why they pull away and how you affect both.
What you will lean:
The short sentence phrases that you can use to lead him where you want to go like a carrot on a stick
The 15 different types of men, what their relationship strengths and weaknesses are including which ones to avoid like the plague
How to spot a guy that you should avoid early, so you can move on with minimal fuss
The 10 question checklist to will help you detect men to avoid
16 Easy to spot ways to know that he’s interested in you
How to feel empowered and confident when you are with a new man
What men love to feel when they are out on a date
Good insights into the male psyche. What he is driven by and how you fit into how he sees his life. I (and i think other readers) would like some extrapolation here and some more information. There are points on how to get him to chase you, what men want from the woman in their lives, and what turns him off commitment.
The phrases will help you through the early to mid stages of your relationship. They are short, easy to customize and work into your circumstances and reusable really. Which is a plus.
The 15 different types of men will give you an insight into men. It will help you identify who your talking to / dating / in a relationship with, as well as know their relationship strengths and weaknesses. Quite insightful.
Part 3 – Stages of love
The last section covers relationships with a focus on you and techniques you can use to influence your future relationships. From bringing up marriage, to intimacy, to how to keep him committed.
What you will learn
The 10 question quiz to know what kind of woman you are and identify what type of partner is the best fit for you
The golden rules of communication with a man over different mediums
The 5 levels of intimacy that you need to adhere to and do for your partner if you want to completely narrow his focus on you
How to make him addicted to you – subtle techniques to draw his affection and give him ‘lifelong love goggles’
The marriage maker line – How to bring up marriage to your man
The 11 indicators that tell if your relationship is on rocky ground and what to do about it
What to look for when he is straying (and what to do about it).
The top 20 ways women sabotage their relationships
The special spots on a mans body that will have him craving your touch
The #1 rule to talking while being intimate with your man. It will change how you approach your special alone time together
20 gestures you can use to get his attention and have him thinking only of you the next time your out in a crowded room
Part 3 is mostly about getting serious about your relationship.
There is a lot of techniques and tips in this section. From discovering the ‘type of woman’ you are, to learning how to keep him monogamous and some intimacy related advice. Anyone looking for information about ‘the back end’ of a relationship will like this.
A Quick Note on Amy North
Who is Amy North?
Amy North has had a brain dump into this program. She is clearly knowledgeable and has put much (if not everything) of what she knows into this program.
According to the program, she is a relationship and dating coach (not a therapist) with 5 years experience from Vancouver, Canada.
The PROS and CONS of ‘The Devotion System’
There is A WHOLE LOT of information in this program. It’s definitely more of a breadth than a depth type. There are plenty of listicles where the dot points are something new. The program starts off a little slow in part one but picks it up in parts two and three.
Easy to read and understand
The program is written in a friendly and conversational tone. The same way that you would have a conversation with a friend. There’s no industry specific words, everything is in everyday language. The videos not only help break the text up, but they are also a good way to recap on the program. After you have finished, if you want to simply freshen up or a quick reminder on what was covered, the videos are a good way to do this.
Because this is a broad program its good to see that it’s easy to maneuver around. It’s not a big thing but it does help when your looking for something specific. Things are clearly labelled and you can click to where you want to go from the contents.
A little preachy
There’s plenty of ‘these are the qualities to display’ but nothing behind that. No, here’s why you are displaying them and here’s how to fix that…
The program only has one speed as well. Full pelt, information at you. There isn’t a different speed. And although there are videos as well as text, it doesn’t come across as a different perspective, or different format even. The videos the presenter is reading off of a cue, it’s pretty much the same as reading it.
The downside of being a broad system is that there isn’t that depth of information. The what happens if he does this, what happens if he does that. This doesn’t make the system easy to remember and implement. So although there is tips, techniques, and even sentence starters and text message templates, there isn’t really a plan.
A 20 page basic guide on texting, how to text, how not to text and finally what to text. Not all of the ‘text templates’ are good in my opinion but there is a few things here that you can use. This is a very basic guide.
Finding Love Online
A 21 page guide about with general advice about finding love online. The guide covers, how to build a profile, general rules to sending messages, what to look for in profiles to avoid and how to meet guys that you actually want to meet. I think there is some valid information here that even serial internet dating (and dating app users) won’t know, there’s also plenty of common sense.
A 27 page guide and a basic education into cheating as it applies to men. In particular there’s 7 reasons why men cheat, the 7 components of lasting love as well as signs that he’s cheating. This guide is only a quick guide, and some information in it is covered in the main program, but it is worth a read.
The Devotion System – My Opinion
Firstly, i’d like to say that this is a good broad base of information. As i’ve already said (but think it’s worth saying one more time) it covers a lot. And no matter what stage of a relationship you will find something relevant. Especially if your single and dating.
Although this system is more theory than action, I recommend it. Especially if you feel lost and like you have no control over the men in your life. You will learn something. It isn’t a silver bullet and it isn’t going to solve everything, however it is going to educate yourself about men and make you more aware of the relationship dynamics between you and them.
Brads 156-page guide (along with bonuses) aims to give you a structured plan to follow for rekindling and reigniting the flame of your relationship
The guide has 14 chapters that detail his plan for you to get back together with your boyfriend
Prologue: The Big Picture
Chapter 1: Introduction
Chapter 2: Attractive Characteristics
Chapter 3: Unattractive Characteristics
Chapter 4: Panic and Acceptance
Chapter 5: Start With “No Contact”
Chapter 6: Start Dating Other Men
Chapter 7: What If He Contacts
Chapter 8: What If He Doesn’t Contact
Chapter 9: The “Date”
Chapter 10: Seduce Him All Over Again
Chapter 11: Sex!
Chapter 12: Preventing
Chapter 13: Desperation
Chapter 14: Conclusion
In the chapters, Brad goes through the different steps of the process. When to start communicating, what to say, where to meet, how far to take it etc.
EFG has advice for those complicated situations such as:
He’s sending you mixed messages that you can’t read
You think you might have pushed him away but are not sure how
He’s been distant for a while and doesn’t seem like himself
You get the feeling he is seeing someone else
He seems unsure if he wants you in his future or not
And others listed on his website
What’s exactly in it:
Brad Browning's comprehensive guide does have:
Text – yes
Audio – yes
Video – no
Bonuses – (Text versions of)
Why men pull away
Flawless fat loss fitness guide
How to read a man
Other things you should know
The program is a digital download meaning that there are no physical versions available. The good news here is that you will be able to download the program within 5 minutes of purchasing it.
Brad offers ‘email coaching’ where he will answer questions, for a fee.
After the purchase page, you will receive an email with your login details and a link to the membership area. Once there you can download the text files and audio files (audio files via .zip) to your PC or device.
PROS and CONS
There is some theory in here explaining this or that, but generally, this is a guide to get things done. Actions, strategies and sometimes even exactly what to say word-for-word
Simple to follow
There aren’t any huge surprises here and no guessing as what to do next etc. The program is in order, and any terminology used by Brad is explained. There is also an option for email coaching so if you do have problems, you have the choice to email Brad himself.
Simple to understand
The book is written in conversational English which made it easy to read. I also liked the fact that I could listen to the program in my car or while out and about. The quality of the audio recording is very good
A bit manipulative
The EFG has its moments where it is a bit manipulative and you may have moral issues with implementing all of his tactics and strategies. There’s a part in there where he talks about making a fake Facebook profile to get your ex to be jealous enough to get back with you… Needless to say that I don’t think this is a good idea under any circumstances
Don’t get me wrong there is good information in this program, however, it can seem that at times the author is explaining things that don’t need explaining
“Look feminine and pretty. Just look ‘chill’ and take a few deep breaths. Don’t just constantly stare at him . . ..” – Page 112
I can understand that people might want clarification, but too much can also make people stilted and not-themselves
Studies are referred to here but I could not find a reference
Why Men Pull Away
Is your boyfriend pulling away for no apparent reason? This 30-page guide highlights the 7 reasons why men start becoming distant, and possibly why your relationship broke down. There is also some broad insights into fixing these 7 issues
Some highlights in this bonus. The reasons why men pull away can highlight areas in your relationship where it went wrong if you were unsure. I can picture some people reading this and nodding. However, the advice on how to fix the issues is quite broad. I.e. ‘build more trust and open lines of communication’. ‘Don’t be controlling or jealous’… You probably have heard a lot of this advice before
I think there are some holes in this bonus guide as well. Meaning there are some reasons why your relationship didn’t work that aren’t in here
Flawless Fat Loss Fitness Guide
This is a comprehensive 249-page guide to losing weight. It’s a wake-up call and a defined and detailed plan of action which will help anyone who is unsure about the topics of weight loss and health more generally. There are comprehensive sections on both diet and exercise
This is A LOT of detail. Those who like numbers, stats and things to remember are going to enjoy it. For the rest of us, the author does give quite a few rules of thumb, and there are quite a few things to follow and targets to hit in this plan. It also isn’t ‘done for you’ you will need to research and figure the finer details out for yourself. The author is also a little ‘over-confident’ at times which was off-putting. Overall it is a bit hard to follow and is more suited for people who want to start bodybuilding, rather than simply lose a little bit of weight
How to Read a Man
This 24-page bonus guide is all about what is happening between his ears. It contains 15 deciphered-for-you scenarios to help you really understand what he is thinking and feeling when he does particular things. All 15 scenarios relate to getting your ex back
There is some good information here, although it mostly reads as common sense. This guide will help give you a second opinion on your relationship with your ex and can help make it a bit clearer on your particular situation. Short and to the point it’s a handy guide to have. Not to sit and read through but more to refer to when required
There are a few highlights in this program, but generally, it is a simple guide. There isn’t so much new information here as much as laying out a plan and simplifying a game plan, with the help of some common sense
On a more positive side, is that this is a practical guide. You can listen to this once and get a good idea exactly what the plan is. Am I confident in the plan though? It seems solid in some areas and a bit haphazard in others, as well as loosely referring to ‘studies’ that aren’t referenced
Some of the techniques are quite good and as I said, there are a few highlights. But generally, this isn’t as informed as other info products
Overall, I give the Ex Factor Guide 3 out of 5 stars
If you only plan on purchasing one program to help you get your ex back then id try a different one. If however, you want your best shot at getting your ex back, and you want every piece of information on the topic then there are some nuggets you want in this program
The good news is that you can get the program, have a look at it yourself and decide if it’s what you want, or get yourself a refund.
WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT IF the men you dated came with stickers?
Stickers that say, ‘I am not trustworthy’, ‘I am never getting married’, ‘I will end up cheating on you!’, or something like ‘I am a man of integrity, and I will be a great husband and dad’.
Well, the stickers may not exist in the real sense of the word; but the messages do. Lauren Frances indicates that men give clues that can help you know their personality, interpret their agenda and spot any red flags. Better still, you can obtain all the information that you need from your potential partner simply by asking him questions.
Men have their own relationship goals, and they would be happy to share them with a woman. Many women do not know where a relationship is going because they never ask, and only muster the courage to ask three or four years later.
In ‘Act like a Lady, Think like a Man’, Steve Harvey interviews a lot of men who were self-proclaimed ‘players’. All the ‘players’ indicated that if the women had quizzed them upfront about their intentions, they would have told them right away that they were not looking for anything serious. The guys indicated that the women they dated didn’t ask the essential questions for fear of running the guys off, so they (the guys) just strung the women along.
Why you should ask questions
Just because you love each other does not mean you will automatically create a great life together. Many times, great relationships end despite people loving each other deeply; one is too ambitious while the other is not ambitious enough, one wants children, but the other one does not, one is self-driven while the other one is a slob. So you see, you better ask the questions early enough before you invest so much time, effort and emotions.
Lose the fear
The first step is to get over the fear of losing a man by asking him important questions. In every area of life, taking chances to get what you want is much more productive than sitting around being too scared. Just stop being afraid already. If being clear about your requirements means you risk him walking away, then it is a risk you are going to have to take. In any case, you will only scare the wrong guys off.
What to do
To get the most out of your relationships, you must change your strategy. Start by ensuring that the man is really clear from the word go about what he wants out of his life and his relationship with you.
Q1: What are your plans for the future?
This is truly an important question; you need to know whether you and him share goals and dreams. From his answer, you will able to determine whether:
You fit in his plan
What role you can play in the plan.
You need to remove yourself from the equation.
The man you want to involve yourself with is the one who has a solid plan; one that you can see yourself in. If he has no vision, you do not want to be part of that confusion and mayhem. He is not going anywhere and sooner or later, you will be stuck too.
Q2: How do you feel about me?
This is a question that you will ask after a few dates. If he cannot tell how he feels about you after a month of dating, then he does not feel anything for you; he just wants something. At this point, you are not looking for him to confess his undying love for you; it is too soon anyway.
However, you can expect answers like: I love talking to you, I always wonder what you are doing, and I feel a little better whenever you come around. In other words, his answer should make you feel fantastic. He may not be in love with you just yet, but he will let you know that he is crazy about you and he wants to pursue a long-term relationship with you.
If you realize that his feelings for you are barely scratch the surface, and he is nowhere near where you want him to be, step on the brakes until you hear the things that you need to hear from him.
Q3: Do you believe in marriage?
This sounds like a scary question to ask, but look at this way; you are not telling him that you want to get married to him now, you are only asking him what he believes.
This question will help you to establish whether the guy wants to get married in the first place. That he is in a relationship with you does not necessarily mean that he wants to get married. Also, the fact that he has been dating you for a while is no guarantee that he wants to marry YOU.
Q4: How do you feel about having children?
Over the last few decades, things have changed, and more people feel less need to have children. If you want children, it is best to find out if your man wants children as well before you commit to him. Do not make any assumptions.
If you realize that both of you want children, great! Find out more about what he thinks of children:
How many children does he want?
How does he feel about having all boys? Or all girls?
What would he do if you discovered that as a couple you could not have children?
Is he open to alternative ways of having children; like adoption?
Q5: What are your thoughts about religion?
Religion is a big issue, and it is ironic that many couples do not discuss it before committing. If religion is especially important to you, it is prudent to ask all the relevant questions.
Does he practice any religion?
If the two of you practice different religions, who will be willing to switch to the other’s?
What religion will your children practice?
Quick tip: Ask your guy about his relationship with God. If you realize that the man has no relationship with God, has no belief system or guiding force in his life, this might be a huge problem.
What moral barometer does he answer to?
What makes him feel whole?
What is going to make him do right by you?
By all means, you can date a guy who does not go to church or have a relationship with God, but if his core beliefs do not match with yours, you are likely to have challenges in your relationship.
Men love to talk about themselves; they do this because they know that to get you, they have to impress you. Allow him to impress. The more inquisitive and interested you are, the more the information he will give you.
Believe what you hear. Do not stick around hoping that the guy will change his mind about something down the road. For instance, if he does not want kids, he will probably not change his mind, regardless of how deeply he feels about you.
Do not be afraid of the answers you might get. See the answers as a way to plan your future. Be proud that you are proactively creating a future that you will love.
Do your best to be equally honest about your expectations from the start. Be absolutely clear that your man understands that you are looking for long-term relationship, marriage, children…. whatever it is, define it for him so that you are on the same page.
The reason why you are asking all these questions is because you like a guy and you want to find out if the two of you have a future together. You do not intend to make him feel uncomfortable.
So, do not ask all the questions in one sitting and do not ask them in a formal way. You are not interrogating the guy. Be tactful; make the conversation as casual and as fun as you can.
Thanks for reading this guide on Questions To Ask Your Future Husband, if you have any comments or questions you can contact me here.